Sky Rockets In Flight

At what point did mediocrity become the automatic precursor to a 10 million or more per year contract?

Gil Meche? Career record of 55 and 44, and hasn't won more than 4 games than he's lost in any season of his already illustrious career. Add to this blossoming Hall of Fame resume a trip to Kansas City, and he's on his way.

Ted Lilly? Throws left handed, also has a poor career record (only 1 game over .500), and has never wone more 2 games than he's lost in any season. Again, I repeat, he throws with his left hand.

Who is next? Honestly. Jeff Suppan, for instance. What would an aging, no speed, ass clown such as this demand in this market? 12 million per? He does have experience, and you know how valuable that is nowadays.

What about Jeff Weaver? He did pitch well for half of one season in his entire career. I'd say 11 per for 5 years seems right.

And, where does this leave the actually good pitchers. Someone like Barry Zito, of all people, should be angered by these signings. Because, on a relative scale, while he'll still make more than these guys, he should make about 30 million a year. I don't think many would argue that Zito is at least 3 times the pitcher that Gil Meche is, in terms of just about everything from value, to age, to throwing hand, to off field activities (baking and playing the guitar). Why shouldn't he be paid as such?

Speaking of contracts and money, we naturally flow to the NBA, where Allen Iverson's days as 76er appear numbered, quite literally. Although we've heard these rumors for years now, these are legit, at least that's what they are saying now. So, in this light, we here at Putting It In Reverse would like to suggest a few possible landing spots for the Answer.

1. Boston Celtics....Why? Well, name one player on their roster that you'd keep other than Paul Pierce. Still thinking? Stop. The point is, they could offer basically everyone on their roster, and I'm sure that Doc could suit up again if he had to.
2. Chicago Bulls...Tell me why the Bulls are so afraid to trade Kirk Heinrich and Luol Deng. First, they arleady have Andres Nocioni, who is way, way better than Mr. Deng. Second, who gives a shit about Kirk Heinrich if you are getting Allen Iverson? Enough said.
3. San Antonio Spurs...No, no. There's not a good reason here. I just wanted to put it down.
4. New York Knicks...Would a list of this sort be complete without them? Here's all they have to do. Offer up David Lee, Channing Frye, Renaldo Balkman, Mardy Collins, and Nate Robinson (basically any remote traces of unselfish, untainted talent they still have left) and see if that can spring free the great A.I. If that doesn't work, I'm sure that Allan Houston's contract can be reworked, a loop hole found to fix the situation somehow.

Why Everyone Hates the NBA

Sure, go ahead and celebrate Kobe Bryant's most recent scoring barrage. This time the targets were the almighty Utah Jazz. In dropping 52 points, Bryant nearly out produced the Jazz's previous opponent, the San Antonio Spurs.

Personally, I'm happy for Kobe. I've never really disliked the man, and I'm wholly aware of how great he is, so I have no problems saying that I love watching him. Checkered life outside of the arena? Sure, but who in the NBA doesn't have one. Excluding, of course, A.C. Green.

However, I urge you to watch the highlights from this game again. About two minutes in, take a look at one of his many earth shattering dunks. I'll give you a minute to get to the page, and watch the video.

OK.

In classic "area code" defense, there wasn't a Utah Jazz defender within about 20 minutes of Kobe on this play. He simply catches the ball at the free throw line (not that that area is a central portion of the court on offense), takes a power dribble, two steps, and throws it down. By this point, a couple of defenders have made there way over to the rim (see the picture above). Yet, its clear that they're not really offering up much of a defense here.

Let's get one thing straight. I'm not, by any means, suggesting that Kobe ripped apart the Jazz because they weren't trying to play defense. I don't watch or care enough about the Jazz to make a statement like that. Rather, its plays like these that have people turning off the NBA and turning on the NCAA every day.

All 5 Jazz defenders were on the floor at the time, by the way. Which truly begs the question, how did the best player on the floor (and the league) catch a pass in the middle of the offensive area without a player within arms length of him?

Sadly, I can't answer that question.

Heeeeeeeeeeeee's Back

Don't blink. That really is him.

Yes. Him.

The same man we once took for dead, kicked to the curb by a crumbling Tampa Bay squad, it seemed as if football for Mr. Martin Gramatica was all but over. The only thing that seemed automatic about the situation was a group Gramatica flight back to Argentina.

Alas, the beleaguered kicker has made it back to center stage once more, this time in the NFC East for the Dallas Cowboys. He's already tested the waters in the NFC South, and AFC East (twice actually). Too hot, apparently. Now, Parcells and the 'Boys are counting on Martin to solidify what was a shaky kicking game with Mike Vanderjagt at the helm.

And, on the subject of Vanderjagt, how quickly do fortunes change? Just several months ago, he was the recipient of a new contract, at over 5 million dollars. Fat deal, fat change. Fat chance. He's been released, and in an one of the most ironic and deranged attempts to search for consistency, the Cowboys have opted to try out Gramatica. He's been with the Colts twice, and the Patriots practice squad once. Neither worked out well. To be honest though, neither did his last two years in Tampa.


As from last week, some more notes:

• Jay Cutler is officially taking over for Jake Plummer in Denver. And it only took, what, 11 weeks? I figure this is a wise move from coach Mike Shanahan. He usually shuffles runningbacks, so why not try it with quarterbacks. The problem? He's in the thick of a playoff race and Cutler's chances of survival and success are about the same as the number of NFL passes he's thrown.
• After this week's most recent debacle, Michael Vick, fed up with the way things have been going, decided to give the fans in Atlanta the finger as he exited to the lockerroom, following a 31-13 defeat. Maybe its just me, but I have an issue with this. Not the finger part, but the direction of the finger. The fans in Atlanta aren't the ones who can't catch. No, that distinction belongs to any WR or TE on the Falcons. And, contrary to popular belief, that is their job. You can spew on all you want about Vick's innaccuracy, but ultimately, someone has to catch the ball. Bums like Roddy White, and the rest of those misfits just aren't going to get it done.
• On the subject of making a comeback to the NFL, the Hillsborough Kid, Ricky Proehl has been signed by the Colts. One white reciever replacing another (Brandon Stokely). That's how it ought to be.
• Here's big news: "Holmes will not return to Chiefs this season", reports the AP. Wow. That's some kind of breaking story.
• Tell me you're not the only one amused by the annual list of Hall Of Fame ballotees. Of course, the guys we all knew would be there...the Scott Brosius's and Devon White's of the world. But honestly, what is Eric Davis doing on that list?
• Randy Wolf. 8 million dollars. One year. Seems reasonable, doesn't it? Lest we forget, Mr. Wolf has pitched in a combined 25 games in the past two seasons. Also, don't let that 5.56 ERA from last season through you off. He is a lefty, and a crafty one at that.
• Finally, the Red Sox have committed to trading Manny Ramirez. Really, this time they are going to do it. I'm not kidding. If it's on Yahoo! Sports, it has got to be true. They're going to sign J.D. "Power and Associates" Drew, and then deal Manny to San Fran. Honest, this time they're not joking around. Seriously. They will do it. They're going to do it. They're going to try to do it. Well, they'll give it their best shot. Uhhh, they might not do it. It seems like its too far fetched for them to actually do it. But, no, they really are going to do it this time. Maybe.
• Again, on the topic of comebacks, perenially soft and injured swingman Derek Anderson has been signed by the Charlotte Bobcats in an effort to....well, we're not exactly sure.
• Another funny headline: "Whether it's Thomas or Brown as coach, Marbury still not sure how to play" Can we just get it over with and put this guy out of his misery already. How many times does he need to prove that he's a worhtless human being and basketball player. Ultimately, it seems fairly simple to me. When coaches have tried to "coach" him, he struggles. When he can do his own thing and basically play selfishly, he'll put up numbers. There's a winner for you.
• What's most suprising about the Spurs first road loss of the season, this a month into the schedule? Not that it took this long, but that Andris Biedrins, a man few outside of fantasy nerds have ever even heard of, almost single handedly turned the trick last night. He had 6 blocks, 3 of which came on Tim Duncan in the final quarter. Way to go Andy.
• After the "signing of the year" of Ben Wallace, the Chicago Bulls have truly floundered to start the season. True, they opened the year trouncing the Heat, but since then, they've lost 9 of 12. And one of those 3 wins came against the Knicks. The Bulls, as I modestly figured, have had a hard time scoring (18th, just under 97 ppg). This shouldn't surprise anyone as starters Chris Duhon and Ben Wallace are scoring 13 ppg. Together.

Which One Is The GM?

Take a long, hard look at this one, because I couldn't figure it out at first.

The man on your left is 40. The man on your right is 48. Both are of Dominican, or of some sort of Latin, descent.

The major difference though, between the two? One is 8.5 million dollars richer. Give up? Its the guy on the right. Wait, no, the left. Or is it the right? I'm not sure, to be quite honest. But, at this point, getting older seems to be the only logical step for the New York Mets.

A forty year old OF comes to town and suddenly the ship has sailed on what once was the hottest prospect no only in their system but possibly in all of baseball. How much do they think they can get for Lastings Milledge now anyway? He's already proved he's not ready. If they were seriously considering dealing him at any point, last June was the time to do it. That ship, unfortunately, has in fact sailed already.

Moises Alou, not to take anything away from the man, is simply old. Admittedly, Cliff Floyd is no spry chicken, but when your facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

Some other news and notes, things I've noticed since I'm not in the country:

• Reports out of Yankee camp say that Scott Proctor could join the rotation next year...Whoopee, another 4 to 5 inning starter. Now that Jaret Wright is finally gone, the Bombers haven't waited long to replace his ineffective and quick exiting presence with someone from with in. Best of luck Scotty
• Marquis Daniels has replaced Stephen Jackson as the Pacers starting SG. Erick Dampier has replaced DeSagna Diop as the starting C for the Mavs. This makes them the first Marquis and Erick SG/C tandem on separate teams in history.
• A guy named Adrian has a column for Yahoo! Sports. That's it.
• Dajuan Wagner has been released by the Golden State Warriors, most likely ending his chances of playing professional ball ever again. He and Kenyon Martin, apparently, are in contract negotiations to work side by side with Brad Nessler doing NBDL games next season. Again, we here at Putting It In Reverse wish the beleaguered stars best of luck.
• The Rutgers football program, after an improbable, come-from-behind victory at home against Louisville, couldn't muster up enough fire power to beat Dustin Grutza and the Cinncy Bearcats. Don't even talk about trap games, they play the Orange next. I have no explanation for this, nor would I care to entertain the thought of what might happen to a man such as Kian Barry if the Scarlet Knights lose out. It could happen, by the way. While I won't predict a loss to SU, a loss to WVU is more than possible.
• Alfonso Soriano, the man without a position and without a good attitude, recieved a Tory Holt-esque contract of 8 catches for 136 yards. I mean, 8 years for 136 million. Absurd isn't it? Not that he's not a great player. But that amount of money, it's something to just sit back and look at it. And then, wonder how it'll contribute to the Cubbies not winning for the 98th year in a row.
• Drew Brees, NO Saints QB, threw for over 500 yards in this week's game against Cinncinnati. The Saints lost. Explain that one. What did he need to do, throw for 800 yards?
• The string of injuries this past week was so long, it almost became comical. Leading WR, Marques Colston, ankle injury. Donovan McNabb and Lamont Jordan, torn knee ligaments. Brett Favre, and his backup, Aaron Rodgers. Joey Goodspeed, turf toe. Donovan Darius, broken ankle. Bo Schembeckler, unfortunately for him, death. And the list goes on...Sad state of affairs, really was.
• Charles Robinson, a man who actually gets paid for Yahoo! Sports to write about made up football news and things of the sort, actually wrote an article recently claiming that the Chargers were the best team in the league. First of all, though I hasn't watched more than 10 minutes of NFL football all season, that can't be accurate. Second of all, and as much as it pains me to say this, the Bears have to be the league's best at this point. Best defense by far, and the offense has been good. Can't argue with that, or can you Mr. Robinson?
• How long do you give it til everyone stops sucking the proverbial penis that is the Utah Jazz? I say, at most two weeks. Reason? They won't be winning 9 out of every 10 games by then. Are they a good team? Certainly, and they have improved. But, let's be real here. Paul Millsap can't be a serviceable replacement for AK-47 for ever. And Deron Williams' dime per game numbers have to come down. Hell, they can't realistically go any higher.
• News out of Indiana suggests Jermaine O'Neal isn't happy on the Pacers. Surprise, surprise. My problem with the whole thing is, who gives a damn? So he wants to play for a winner. Name me a player that doesn't, excluding any Blazer that's been in the league for more than 2 years. Just because the Pacers aren't any good shouldn't liberate Jermaine O'Neal. If that was the case, Paul Pierce, Allen Iverson, Kevin Garnett, and a whole host of others would've already been moved. My advice, give it a rest and try playing for a full season before you want to open your mouth again. Sorry for that, but I hate when millionaires complain for no real reason.
• Finally, the NL Central race has been decided. Mike Stanton and Alex Gonzalez have been added to the Reds. Relax folks, its over. Here's a direct quote, honest to God..."Stay tuned," said general manager Wayne Krivsky. The Reds GM is referring to the transaction wire, hinting that more moves are to come. He's already acquired 40 players since coming on board last spring training. I can't wait to see who he adds next. Maybe he could trade for Marlon Byrd. I think Reggie Abercrombie might even be available. Have at it Wayne, and as always, best of luck pal.

Every Man Has To Have One

Earlier in the day, London time, I was reminded that the eighth day of October in the year two thousand and six was Columbus Day. My little brother didn't have school. Businesses, banks, they all close down. Even the Yankees took the night off.

And this rest and importance attributed to the man once known as Cristobal got me thinking as to my favorite explorer. Not to take anything away from Topher, but I'm not sure I'd choose him. Actually, I know that I wouldn't.

After giving this some serious, deep, and contemplative thought (as if there's any other kind when debating an issue of this magnitude), I've found my man.

He's made his living on the tongues and maps of people all across the world. However, he still lives in relative secrecy. Existing as a relic, the man only spoken of in fairy tales, only referenced to by intellectuals and only discussed in small groups at Italian-American club meetings.

Of course, the man I am speaking of is Amerigo Vespucci.

'Spooch was a man amongst boys. While others were merely bumping into new continents that would later prove worthless (the West Indies, who needs it?/is it even still there?) Amerigo was busy discovering that little continent known as South America. He was also the first to believe that he was actually bumping into a new continent, and not merely an extension of Asia. Pretty heavy stuff, huh?

The details of his life are significant, however, too numerous to detail here. What remains to be told is that this man is simply not revered to the level that he should be. For Christ's sake, we live in America, not in Christopher.

I say we do ourselves all a favor and not only replace Columbus Day with Spooch Day, but also give the entire world a day off, not just Americans. Amerigo's contributions shaped the world that we live in and the universe that we hope to continue to define. It is because of his hard work, determination in the face of adversity, and ever-persistent determination in the face of hard work and adversity together that Italian men such as myself have the confidence to play sports, approach women and masturbate in public places.

Well, maybe not all of those things.

The Sad But True Story Of The Fantasy Nerd

I know a young man, who suffers from a crippling affliction. A man who, in normal circumstances, thrives in social settings. Some have described him as gregarious, jovial, mercurial. Others have used terms such as humorous, intrinsic, elloquent, and morovian.

Regardless, once this disease sets, all hopes of human interaction and social skill are thrown immediately out the window. If a window isn't immediately accessible, then the nearest garbage can or kitchen disposal.

For those of you who have read the title already, you know of the disease of which I am speaking. It deals with the curse that is Fantasy Sports.

This young man, who shall remain nameless, plays the Holy Trinity of Fantasy, Basketball, Baseball, and Football. Though he loves them all, Baseball and Basketball are easily the most demanding. And, having watched this man suffer through two straight championship runs in the sports just listed, I feel it is necessary to sketch a story of his tales, promote his compassion.

Every other week of the season, outside of the final weeks, the team takes up a minimal portion of the day. He only checks in down time. When he wakes up, before he goes to sleep, before he goes to eat, after he goes to eat. While he's eating. Before he showers, after he showers, while he showers.

However, once it gets to the final week, the promised land, the mecca that is Championship Week, the attention paid reaches an all-time high. Suddenly, every game has meaning. Devil Rays vs. Indians. Magic vs. Bucks. These, once meaningless, matchups have the weight of the world resting in their outcome. And he couldn't be anymore aware of it.

For days, he doesn't leave his room, with his hand glued now to the refresh button on his computer screen, rather than to his tube of vasoline and dirty magazines. Update, update, update. And the games haven't even begun yet. This is just to make sure everyone who needs to be playing is playing.

After a certain point, he's admitted several times to me, confided (if you will), that he's lost the desire to even win any longer. That if it could simply end and that would be it, he'd be happier than having to deal with another pain staking second.

Alas, he has survived each tramatic episode. Once emerging victorious, the other time as the loser. Yet, dissappointment doesn't get him down. That's probably the most curious thing of it all. How can something that consumes a man so fully for so long simply be shrugged off after a day?

I, personally, wouldn't know.

I guess I'll have to ask him.

Yucking it Up

You think its time for a bye week for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?

I'd say so.

Their starting quarterback no longer has a spleen. Their backup quarterback played at Toledo. Last year.

They haven't won a game. They just scored their first TD's of the season in last week's loss to Carolina. Their reigning rookie of the year RB has just over 100 yds. In 3 games combined. The longest FG their kicker has made was 28 yds. He's only made one other this year.

One could go on and on, but essentially, things haven't gone well for those that call One Buc Place home.

Jon Gruden and the Bucs recently felt the season begin to completely collapse from underneath them after a heartbreaking loss to the Carolina Panthers, in Tampa. Unable to simply get a first down and run out the clock, the Bucs fell victim to the equally lowly Panthers by only 2 points on the strength of a last second FG. Sounds familiar? It should, for Buc fans at least. (See 2003, where the Bucs lost to the Panthers twice by a 3 points in each contest).

At any rate, no amount of ranting or clever wording will get the Bucs out of the whole that they have dug themselves into. What started out as a potentially promising season has quickly turned into a comedy of errors.

Here's what Buc's fans have to look forward to for the rest of the season:
(In no particular order)

1. Bruce Gradkowski, over under is set at 15...How many snaps will he get before Shaun King is put in as starting QB?

2. Once King is in, will Jacquez Green be brought back?

3. Once Green is brought back, what about Bert Emmaneul?

4. And once he comes back, will the league bring take away the challenge ability of coaches?

5. Brady Quinn?

6. College football in general.

Until then, here's to hoping that the team wins at least one game.

K-Rod

No, not Frankie Rodriguez.

More like Alex Rodriguez. Forwards, Backwards...These days, the man known to many as E-Rod due to his many blunders at the hot corner, will take a strikeout anyway it'll come.

In his last 15 at bats, he's struck out 11 times. He hasn't struck out less than 20 times in any month this season. And, he's whiffed a grand total of 122 times this year. While no one will confuse Rodriguez for Pujols as far as a penchant for racking up K's, Alex is on pace to shatter his previous career high (139, set last season). The way he's going right now, it might take only one more series.

Suprisingly though, A-Rod was only 10th in the league in K's.

Yet, for any Yankee fan that's watched him play this season, it isn't just about the alarming number of strikeouts.

Whether its a prolonged stretch of errors (see the 5 game stretch in mid-July, during which he committed 5), a game winning homerun (off of Jorge Sosa), a recent K bonanza, numerous failed opportunities (season long avg. of .244 with a runner on 3rd and less than 2 outs), or even a player of the month award (yes, this did actually happen in May), Alex Rodriguez has covered the gamut this season.

But still, no one really can figure out whats wrong. He has been great this year, but only for brief periods. Mostly, though, its been eratic. Simple ground balls turn into heartattacks for fans watching YES. Baseloaded, 2 outs turns into the next inning, no runs, when A-Rod gets up.

Fans have completely lost confidence and control. Boo's have rained down on the man for months now. It's even gotten to the point that announcers have tried to candycoat everything he does. Nice, but still routine, back handed stop? Greatest play ever. Single in the 7th inning with one on and none out? Big rally starter.

Every time he takes a hard swing, "maybe he's out of it".

The truth is, no one really knows. If some one knew, it'd be fixed by now. Players of Rodriguez's talent level and track record don't simply lose the ability to play the game they've dominated for a decade over the course of a few months during the peak of their career. Especially not after one of their best, MVP seasons.

Maybe A-Rod might never be the clutch player New York Yankees fans hope and pray he will become. Maybe he simply isn't cut out to be that type of player, that Derek Jeter, rise-to-the-top-at-the-right-time player. But, he is still Alex Rodriguez. A man that, prior to this season, was widely considered the best player in the game. Now, many wouldnt consider him the best player on his side of the infield.

So, what is it going to take to change E and K-Rod back to A-Rod again? I have no idea. But let's hope he figures it out before we have the next Chuck Knoblauch on our hands.

Somebody tell Keith Olberman's mother to stay away from Yankee Stadium for a few weeks.

The Next Contestant on Catch a Beatdown

Announcer: Come on down....we're looking for the next contestant on Catch a Beatdown!!!
(Camera scans the crowd, filled with overweight grandmothers, retired uncles, all of whom are wearing gigantic Best Buy tags with their name scribbled on them. Amongst the smiling faces there is one mug that sticks out like a black guy at a KKK meeting. His name is John Gibbons. And this is his story)

Gibbons is a man of fair complexion, dark hair. One can find him, on most nights, in the Toronto Blue Jays dugout, managing the club in waterproof overshirt. Yet, that isn't the case every night.

"Gibby", as his players have been known to call him, grew up in Great Falls, Montana in the 60's and 70's. His father was a travelling underarm deodorant salesman, his mother a cook in the local milita. Times were hard for young J.M. Gibbons. He barely knew his father; to this day his fondest memory of his dad is a scent--Old Spice. His mother was always physically around, but it was well documented in Great Falls that she was in the opening stages of Alzheimers when John was 12 and that she had a penchant for sleeping around.

Some nights, baseball was John's only salvation. Even then, it wasn't enough. He tells a story of living at home, being raised mainly by his five brothers in the absences of his father and forgetful mother.

"My brothers were much, much older than I was. Naturally, they were much stronger and bigger than I was as well. Often, I'd get my ass beat simply by looking at one of them the wrong way. One time we were all home after dinner and my eldest brother Conrad realized that I had forgotten to reshingle the roof. The five of them pounced on me like I was a piece of steak. Punching, kicking, verbal abuse...I endured it all."

Rough, indeed.

Nevertheless, John continued to mature. While he still, to this day, has never been with a woman, he did wind up going to college. After flunking out of a local junior college, John decided to pursue his life long dream-major league baseball.

Drafted in 1980, Gibbons lasted a lustrious decade in the bigs. As a catcher for the Mets, John batted .220 with one homerun and 2 RBI's (not to mention 16 K's) in 50 career at-bats. Finally, in 1990, John hung up his cletes, and decided to wait for the call from the big boys in Cooperstown.

Although his phone is still waiting to ring on that front, he did recieve a phone call from J.P. Riccardi. Mirroring his playing career, John started out as a bullpen catcher for the Jays. Then, after a series of successful warmups, he moved up to 1st basecoach. Ever-persistent, John was magnificent in his new role. Taking players batting gear, having idle chatter with opposing first basemen, John excelled. So much so, Riccardi finally gave him the keys to the car in 2004, and then extended him for three more years in 2005. As far as Gibbons was concerned, it was a long time coming.

"You know, some in Toronto weren't happy with the decision to put me into the manager's seat. Strangely, there was a gigantic Carlos Tosca contingent just north of the border. At any rate, I knew what I was capable of. I was expecting to be moved to third base before becoming the head honcho, but whatever...I was ready to take this team to where it needs to go. We needed to get tougher around here, and that's what I'm about to do."

And so he did. What very few know about John Gibbons is that he is not, by nature, a violent man. While his dealings with players on his own team may dispute that fact, his closest friends know him as peaceful man that enjoys bike riding and Magic the Gathering more than anything else in the world.

However, there is something about that Toronto air that simply drives John Gibbons crazy. When that fragrant maple air enters his nostrils, he turns into Satan's spawn. Unaware that it is unprofessional to simply beat up your own players, John has bucked the trend. While managers like Joe Torre, Terry Francona and Tony LaRussa try to build working relationships with players, Gibbons is not only challenging players to fights, but also getting his ass kicked.

No one has been able to find the exact reasoning behind Gibbons' most recent implosions (Shea Hillenbrand and Ted Lilly). Could it be the air? How about the fact that the Jays have fallen 9.5 games out of first in the AL East? Or maybe, just maybe, could it be that John Gibbons is a psycho?

I'll opt for the latter.

Earlier in the year, news out of Toronto made it seem as if Shea Hillenbrand was the thug. Scribbling on a message board that the Jays were "a sinking ship". A month or so later it seems that Shea may have been on to something.

The team can't win a game unless Roy Halladay is on the rubber, and even then there's no guarantees. One of the other Jays pitchers, lefty hurler Ted Lilly, felt the wrath of Mr. Gibbons earlier this week.

After giving up 7 runs in 2.1 innings, John Gibbons came out to pull the plug. Even Ray Charles could have read Lilly's lips, he didn't want to come out of the game. The two argued for a bit, and finally Lilly relented, and left the mound, proceeding directly into the tunnel. Gibbons, instead of letting things cool off, decided the best course of action would be to follow his disgruntled player. Looking for trouble, Gibbons wound up with a bloody nose after the alleged fight. Alleged? Yeah right. Although no one admitted to a fight, we all know what happened. Unless of course, Gibbons went into the clubhouse and took the back of his head and smashed it into the wall. Doubt that.

Here's the problem, John Gibbons is a certified wackjob. Nutcase. Insane. Whatever word you want to use to describe the Jays skipper, it certainly isn't capable. Not only is Gibbons losing the loyalty of his players by acting like the clubhouse bully, but he's also losing games.

The message to J.P. Riccardi is clear: After your manager tries to fight more than one player, he's got to go. It can't be that both players have such a problem. Who's the common denominator? Exactly.

Contractually Speaking

How much better would professional sports be without the burden of multi-year, multi-million dollar contracts?

Think about it for a minute.

How many bad contracts are there in sports? How about on your favorite baseball team? Too many to count. And I'm not just talking about the Yankees, or the Knicks. The whole idea of these contracts is simply and quite obviously ludicrous on several levels.

1. This year's minimum salary in the NBA is just under 400 thousand, roughly the same as the president of the United States. That means that Mardy Collins and Dub-Yah make the same. Sounds fair.

2. Is Derek Jeter's salary of roughly 20 million a year astronomical? Yes. However, the problem is more than just one man. What I like to call the "comparatively" clause comes into effect all the time. For instance, if Edgar Renteria can make 9 million a year for the Braves, why can't Jeter make twice as much for the Yanks? He's twice the player, at least, so shouldn't his salary reflect this?

3. Potential. Constantly and seemingly endlessly, GM's find themselves chasing after the ever-elusive capacity for greatness. Contracts are doled out on the basis of a good series, gritty performance, or wingspan. Some examples that immediately come to mind: Jerome James (5 yrs, 30 million) (career avg. of 4.7 ppg and 3.3 rpg) (exploded in the playoffs two seasons ago--13 ppg, 7 rpg); A.J. Burnett (5 yr, 55 million) (career record of 49 and 50 coming into this season)

The list is truly never ending, and the NBA and the MLB seem to always come ahead of the NFL as far as awful contracts are concerned. This summer alone has produced some awful contracts: Ben Wallace (5 for 60), this coming from a guy who might not score 60 points a month. Nene (6 for 60), a man with only one name and equal number of post up moves. Recently Jared Jeffries signed with the Knicks for 5 years, 30 million. Again, slightly high when one considers that Jeffries has never averaged over 7 ppg or over 5.2 rpg in any of his 4 seasons. But, he is tall, and supposedly has a great wingspan and plays D. Seems worth 30 million. Last year, Marko Jaric proved he wasn't worth his 5 years, 35 million. Kenyon Martin proves every year that 71 million dollars for an oft-injured, over-hyped dunk-dependent power forward was about 65 million dollars too high.

In the majors, how about Kevin Millwood. He hasn't been that bad this year, unfortunately. But, 4 years 48 million is a ton for a guy who has consistently shown he can't be anything more than a good no. 2 starter. Too bad Texas is depending on him to be an ace.

So, what's the solution? Simple. Follow the NFL's lead. Contracts can, technically, be as long as a Maurice Clarett rap sheet (i.e. Mark Brunell's 7 year, 49 million contract, which, if he plays out, will see him at 42). But, as in the NFL, contracts should be able to simply cut at any time. Players will be compensated if the cut comes from an injury, but the player can't receive the majority of the salary. Say, for instance, your recently drafted in the top 3 PG from Duke got into a motorcycle accident and it was stated in his contract that he couldn't ride his crotch rocket, you'd be off the hook. Or, let's say the previous season's game 7 hero hurt his knee playing basketball, which was prohibited in his contract, you'd also be off the hook. Those are just hypotheticals, but one could imagine if a team had to actually pay a player in those situations...And, if a player was injured during the majority of his contract and came back to later pitch (see Carl Pavano who will most likely pitch again at some point for the Bronx Bombers but has missed a full year already with a littany of injuries), he wouldn't get the money he normally would accrue while on the DL.

Finally, every sport needs a salary cap. Just like there shouldn't be a New York Yankees at the tip top, there shouldn't be a Florida Marlins.

Don't even get me started on getting rid of team. This is just a start. We all know none of this will happen, but its fun to dream, right? So, when this winter rolls around, and some Chris Capuano type is getting paid well over 50 million dollars to come to the AL, think of what could have been.

Aarrrgh....To Be Young Again

Recently, a certain movie containing a certain pirate made a certain amount of record breaking money. Yes, folks, the movie I am referring to is "Pirates of the Carribean 2: Dead Man's Chest". Easily, this ranks as one of the greatest pieces of film in cinematic history. Ever.

The uber-action sequel starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Keira Knightley has made over 135 million dollars at the box office thus far. It hasn't been out for more than two weeks.

While "Pirates" is by no means a quickie (2 hours and 25 minutes, running time), every second is well worth it. I recently found myself at a movie theater, enjoying each thrill, joke, and Keira Knightley push-up bra.

Cap'n Jack does'nt disappoint, and the movie leaves you at such a cliffhanger that your only excuse for not seeing the third installment in the series would be an unfortunate and untimely death.

However, seeing the movie got me to thinking about actually being a pirate. What a life that would be, no?

Imagine, if you will, being able to travel around the world, and just straight up steal shit from people. You don't have to have a reason, you don't have to have a conscience. All you do is pillage and plunder.

Old-school pirate lore includes rape in the pillage and plunder line, but with contemporary laws as they are, we are inclined to leave rape off the list of advantages of being a pirate.

Granted, most pirates don't have the best hygiene. However, that doesn't have to be the case if you are the kind of guy that doesn't like, well, stinking up the joint. Pirates can make their own rules, live by their own laws. While it would be strange for a pirate to wear a three piece suit, who is honestly going to question the man that has you at gun point, your wife bent over, and your expensive stuff in a burlap sack?

Another benefit of being a pirate: you have the constant opportunity to outsmart the coppers. Internationally, you would be known as a menace to society. Something that law officers hate, women love, and men desire to be. You get to drop lines like, "You'll always remember the day you almost caught, Captain Dexter Mclean". If, of course, Dexter Mclean, if your pirate name.

Thats another thing, you have free reign to change your name to what would best suit a pirate. Scott Spinelli, not going to cut it as a pirate name. I'm not sure what I'd go with, but I'm leaning towards getting the world "arbuckle" in their. It screams pirate, to me at least.

Also, if sailing isn't your thing, you could always be a land pirate. Cruising around in a Jeep, packing stuff into your van. Wow. It's all too exciting, isn't it?

Let's not forget about your first mate. Is there a better friend in the whole world? I think not. Except for a willing to try anything, tag-along Jessica Simpson, the first mate stands alone as man's true best friend. This is a man that, despite his being a bit smarter than you, never asserts authority. Never wants to be the captain. Only, wants to serve you. Suggesting what to do at some points, waiting for your orders to follow at others. And, let's not forget, saying "Aargh" more times than you could shake a stick at.

So, here's to being a pirate. Here's to saying the word "matey" and spitting into spitoons. Here's to stealing, and plundering, and pillaging. Here's to wearing the same pair of torn jeans for 3 weeks straight. And, here's to being a swashbuckling. Whatever that means.

No Way, Jose

I think the Mets have learned their lesson. At least, I hope that they have.

After getting pounded for 7 runs (5 earned) in 3 innings, Lima was taken out of Friday night's game against the Marlins and then taken out of the league.

This man, Mr. Jose "Lima Time" Lima, just doesn't have it any more. That isn't to say that he ever truly had it.

Wait! Wait! I know what some of you Lima Time apologists are thinking. This guy won 21 games in 1999, as a member of the Houston Astros.

That is, in fact, true. However, what seems to be more and more clear about Mr. Lima is that he's a so-so pitcher with a lot of flair and the occassional hot streak. For his career, he's 13 games under .500.

This is the man who has lost 16 games in a season, not once, but twice. This is the same man who's had not one, but two separate stints with both Kansas City and Detroit (I'm not sure if you can remember back when Detroit was bad, but those were his years).

Career era? Just under 6, and batters hit a Hank Blalock-esque .287 off of him for his career. So, all in all, not too good. In fact, pretty bad.

It's a miracle, as far as I'm concerned, that he's ever even made it this far. A righty with average stuff to last over 12 years in the bigs, that's more than impressive. So, for longevitity, we will applaud Joey's efforts. But that's all.

Joseph started his career in Detroit, in his first major league season he was tagged for 10 runs in 6.2 innings. Most likely, his career ended in New York, after Dontrelle Willis took a first pitch fastball 405 feet for a grandslam. While Willis may be a good hitter, for a pitcher, he still is, without doubt, a pitcher.

If there is one more round of Lima Time, somewhere in the majors, we wish him the best of luck. But, GMs beware, this guy isn't and really hasn't ever been, any good.

How I Hate You So...Let Me Count The Ways

I hate certain things about the MLB All-Star game. In theory, I should enjoy it as much as I do the NBA All-Star game, but such is not the case. The grouping of the game's best players in one city for a night of fun and festivities. What could possibly, under god's green earth, could be better?

Well, as I've said, in theory, nothing. But, Bud Selig, ever the fuck-up, just won't let some things go.

My first problem with the All-Star game is the most recent change to its format: the fact that it counts. How in the hell did anyone approve this idea? Am I the only one that thinks its ludicrous to allow a player from Tampa to have a stake in what league gets home field advantage in the World Series. Further, what makes you think that player from Tampa cares as much as the player from the White Sox (of which there are no shortage of this year, suprisingly).

What ever happened to letting the team with the best record have home field? Call me crazy, but that's what I thought the regular season was about.

One of Selig's defenses of this change in format was that now the game has meaning, and that is why people will watch it. My question is, why does this game have to count? Yeah, it ended in a tie a few years ago, and that was a problem. But, that could be solved by simply making the rosters a pitcher or two bigger. Making it count? That's what we watch the other 162 games for. Those count. For one night, its ok by me to have a game not count and watch the players have fun.

My second problem: every team needs to be represented in the All-Star game. This year the glaring representation of this problem is Mark Redman. Sporting a record a game over .500 and an era near 6, Redman finds himself a member of the AL All-Stars. If I was Mark, I'd be embarrassed to be selected. He has to know that he doesn't belong. There are others that are being selected because someone has to represent their team, such as Barry Zito. But Zito is at least having a good year, and has had good years in the past. Christ, he was a Cy Young winner at one point. Redman is a career 12 games under 500. A few years ago, Travis Harper of the D-Rays was this guy. Last year, Ken Harvey was the man. Every year there is a guy that sticks out like a sore thumb, and I, for one, feel bad for him. Mark Redman, under no circumstances, should be in Pittsburgh for the All-Star game. He knows it, I know it. I don't care if every other pitcher in the entire American League came down with the plague, I still wouldn't invite him.

My final problem with the game is the selection process. I'm sick and tired of being pissed off at who is left off and put on the teams each year.

Francisco Liriano, league leader in ERA, not on the team. Justin Verlander has the most wins and best era on the best team in baseball, also, not on the team. Ramon Hernandez leads the majors in homers from a catcher, and has twice as many as the AL starter, Ivan Rodriguez. Travis Hafner and Jason Giambi, while both are putting up great numbers this season, are not much better or worse than Ortiz, Konerko and Thome, so I have no problem there. Here's whats wrong---of those first three guys (Liriano, Verlander, and Hernandez), only one will make it. How does that make any sense?

Not to take anything away from Mark Buerhle, but how is his season any better than the two young pitchers listed above, or, for that matter, than Mike Mussina's or Curt Schilling's? In fact, statistically, Buerhle is worse than all 4 pitchers. So, no, I am not accusing Ozzie Guillen of favoritism. Of course not.

Maybe its because I don't follow the National League as much, but I don't have nearly the same amount of problems with their roster. I don't agree with Lo Duca starting behind the plate (if it was up to me Dave Ross, who's not even on the last vote, would start because he's only got 4x the amount of homers that Paulie has). Also, who's dick did Brian Fuentes suck to get on the team? They already have Matt Holliday, so one would assume that the Rockies quota was filled. Apparently not.

Still, I'll watch some of it. But you can rest assured, I won't be happy doing so.

As The Dust Begins To Settle

As if you haven't gotten enough NBA Draft coverage thus far, we here at Putting It In Reverse feel it is our birthright to bring to you what should serve as the final word in draft analysis. After watching the entire first and second rounds of this past Wednesday's draft, we offer up a team by team analysis of the draft that was.

1. Toronto Raptors - Andrea Bargnani (F)
Let's put it this way, if this wasn't a lottery pick, this would be a great pick. As a first overall selection, eh....I'm not so sure that this guy will be much better than a Vladimir Radmonivich-type ballplayer. He shoots the three and can score (what foreign player can't nowadays?), but, like the rest of his imported pals, he doesn't really care much for defense. That'll be problem. Not to mention his spot in the lineup, which remains to be seen at this point. A potential logjam has been cleared with the deal of Chucky V, but still, Rasho and Bosh look to get the lion's share of minutes at the 4 and 5.

2. Chicago - Tyrus Thomas (F)
This freak of nature was originally selected by the Blazers, and then moved to the Bulls. The Bulls had originally taken LaMarcus Aldridge with their pick, and it seems as if they'd be better suited to have kept Aldridge. Neither is entirely ready to be a great NBA player just yet, but Aldridge certainly has the more polished offensive game of the two. Now, with a lineup of Ty Thomas and Ty Chandler at the 4 and 5, there is no offense to speak of at the top of that lineup. Still, fans in Chi town should have fun watching Thomas make highlight reel plays and hopefully develop into a good player. He needs to desperately add some weight (at 215, he weighs the same as Eric Piatkowski) and to develop some O. I think he will.

3. Charlotte - Adam Morrison (F)
I had Charlotte taking Rudy Gay here, but I'm glad they didn't. Gay may turn out to be the better player in time, but Morrison can step in right away and give a legit. scorer from the perimter to a team previously lacking this type of player. Think Wally Szczerbiak with more toughness and more ways to score.

4. Blazers - LaMarcus Aldridge (F)/Brandon Roy (SG)
The guy's got polished game, and could develop into a legit 18 and 10 guy. But, he needs to gain weight and add a mean streak. Listen to him interview and you can tell that he comes off as soft. The men in the NBA will eat him alive if he doesn't mature in that area. One other potential problem: Zach Randolph is in his way currently at the 4. I don't like Randolph. Fortunately, neither do the Blazers, and they're trying to move him. But, unfortunately, no one else likes him or D-Miles, so it seems as if Aldridge will have to wait a few years to get into the big time.

With Roy, there isn't enough good I could say about this kid. I love his attitude, his personality, his toughness, and the decision to stay in school for 4 years. It paid off for him, and he should be able to start right away, and give some height to a previously diminutive backcourt. Expect nice things.

5. Atlanta - Shelden Williams (FC)
Not tall enough is really the only complaint about this 4 year senior. He's tough enough, has a man's body, and can block shots and rebound. Not to mention, he's got a decent offensive game with his back to the basket. But, let's temper expectations. He won't be Elton Brand. But, he does play great D and that always can help a team without a true 5. And, he won't be the first undersized big man in the league. My problem with the pick: they needed a PG more than a big man, and there were obviously several other little men available. Tyronne Liu and Royal Ivey can't be allowed to captain this ship for much longer.

6. Minnesota - Randy Foye (PG-SG)
This Newark native might have trouble cracking the lineup initially, but he's a hell of a player. Can play either guard spot and will have to be more a PG to truly thrive with KG. But, I think he can do that. He's a tough guard, and is built like a stack of bricks. If he can develop quickly, he could be that guy that helps KG turn that team around in a few years.

7. Boston - Rajon Rondo (PG)
Boston recieved this gentleman from Phoenix. They had originally taken Foye, but then dealt him. They recieved Sebastian Telfair and Theo Ratliff, two absolutely useless pieces. This team is entirely banking on acquiring A.I. IF, and only if, that happens, this turns out to be a great draft. IF it doesn't, which appears to be the case, then this is a terrible set of decisions. Bassy is an overhyped Coney Island kid. Theo is old, disgruntled and overpaid (not to mention they already have a Ratliff, his name is Kendrick Perkins). And Rondo can't really even play the sport he claims to be a member of. He has decent vision on the floor, but really got by due to athleticism. If his life depended on it, he couldn't score, and as far as I see it, that's a significant problem in the NBA.

8. Houston - Traded rights to Rudy Gay for Shane Battier
Good deal, I think. While Gay certainly should be better than Battier, Shane does serve a good purpose. Houston, despite their awful season, isn't that far away, and they don't have much time to fool around with the constant injuries to McGrady. Battier can come in next year and give the Rockets some good D, decent shooting and scoring, and a selfless attitude. Unlike with Gay, they don't have to wait to see what they're going to get.

9. Golden State - Patrick O'Bryant (C)
I didn't like this pick initially, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. While O'Bryant only had a so-so season, he exploded in the tourney, and has good size (7-0, 260). While they're in debt from here to forever with Adonal Foyle, O'Bryant could move the poet to the bench. Hopefully, he could provide scoring and some D at the 5. Like most prospects in this draft, he needs to sculpt his body a bit more. They could've used a back up PG here, but I like the O'Bryant pick.

10. Seattle - Saer Sene (C)
This pick makes absolutely no sense, on several accounts. First, they should've learned about drafting guys like this (they already have Bobby Swift and Johnny Petro). Second, they needed a scorer more than a C (with the impending exodus of Rashard Lewis). Finally, and most importantly, Sene stinks. He wasn't even good in Senegal, that basketball factory.

11. Orlando - J. J. Reddick (SG)
Again, I didn't like this pick at first, but I've since come around. While he'll never be a phenomanal all-around pro (neither was Steve Kerr), Reddick does possess one incredible skill. The man can bomb from anywhere on the floor. When open he can drill shots from seemingly any place on the court, and he can make a bit of separation for himself. Also, if his back is alright, he'll be on the floor to get good looks from double teams of Dwight Howard and from drive-and-kicks from Jameer Nelson.

12/15. New Orleans - Hilton Armstrong (C)/Cedrick Simmons (F)
I loved, again, loved, both of these picks. P.J. Brown seems to only be getting more surly and elderly as time goes by. Now, these two absolute earth movers can hold down the middle for this team. I've watched both play in college (Armstrong way more than Simmons), but both can block shots and rebound. I think both will undoubtedly be successful at those aspects in the pros. As far as offense is concerned, Armstrong has less work to do than Simmons. Neither will be a great scorer, but I think they won't be big enough liabilities that they would hurt the team to be out there.

13. Philly - Rodney Carney (SF)
I don't really get this one. Carney is an explosive athlete that can run, and shoot the 3. He can't dribble in particular, but still, what is puzzling is not Carney's ability, but where he fits in on this team. They already have someone that does nearly everything that he does, his name is Andre Iguodala. So, with that in mind, I don't get the pick.

14. Utah - Ronnie Brewer (G)
While I'll admit I haven't seen much other than highlight film of Brewer, from everything I read, he should fit in great in Utah. Besides the fact that he's not white or European, he is everything this team needs. A defensive player that can score from the 2. Let's face it, Gordon Giricek, Milt Palacio, and Devin Brown aren't starting guards in this league. This kid can play and he should get a chance to show it this year. Also, Utah took the NCAA leader in rebounding the last 3 years (Paul Millsap) in the 2nd round. I heard this from someone else, but I don't see why he can't be a Reggie Evans type with more offensive game.

16. Chicago - Thabo Sefolosha (F)
Just to spare repeating what I've read, I'll leave this one empty. I don't really know much about him.

17. Indiana - Shawne Williams (F)
While I don't know much about this guy either, I didn't like this pick. Not because of Williams, but because the Pacers could've used another Williams at this spot. Tinsley should have, by now, worn out his welcome as the PG for that team, and Anthony Johnson isn't an everyday starter there either. Marcus would've been a better pick due to team needs.

18. Washington - Oleksiy Pecherov (F)
Again, don't know much here. All I can say is that, again, Marcus Williams, would've been a better fit here. How often have this middle first round picks failed from other countries. Having Williams at PG would've allowed Arenas to move to SG.

19. Sacramento - Quincy Douby (SG)
Great for Mr. Douby. But, for Sac-town, I'm not sure if I get this one too much. If they plan on re-signing Bonzi Wells, then this man is the 4th two-guard on the team. He's admitted that the Kings have asked him to backup Mike Bibby, but there's no denying that this guy, despite what his size may say, is a shooting guard. Not a point guard.

20. New York - Renaldo Balkman (F)
Who? Is it even fair at this point? Just when you thought this team couldn't become any more comical, they prove everyone wrong. But, if you're Renaldo, a guaranteed contract and no expectations could turn into some needed motivation. Still, this is a guy that could've been signed as a free agent. Terrible pick, maybe not a terrible player, but a terrible selection.

21. Phoenix - Traded rights to Rondo, no draftees this year.

22/23. New Jersey - Marcus Williams (PG)/Josh Boone (PF)
Great, great job by Rod Thorn and the Nets. How Marcus Williams fell this far is beyond me. I don't care about his weight or attitude. He can hone those under the tutilage of a Jason Kidd. But, his skills are unquestionable. Absolulely love the first pick. He'll be the guy that Kidd will pace the torch to.

And Boone, while attitude and heart may be a question, I again don't care. He can block shots and play D. As a big man, he should start right away. Unlike any other man over 6-8 on the Nets, Boone can play D over the rim, and that will certainly help.

24. Memphis - Kyle Lowry (PG)/Rudy Gay (SF)
Great draft for Memphis. To draft at 24 and get a hard nosed PG like Lowry and a potential superstar in Gay for only Shane Battier is absolutely unbelievable for the Grizz. I believe Gay will certainly become the player he is supposed to be. I questioned his shooting touch this year, but watching him at UCONN dispelled any concerns I had. He has freak athletic ability and skill, all he needs to worry about is not becoming the next Lamar Odom (ton of talent, no killer instinct). As for Lowry, I think he's too small to become a dominant point guard in this league, but as far as being a solid contributer, I think he'll be fine. Still, I think his offensive game could use work and he would've greatly benefited by staying an extra year or so at 'Nova.

25. Cleveland - Shannon Brown (SG)
This athletic combo guard should do well for Cleveland. He attacks the rim like it assaulted his mother, and that obviously can't hurt a team like Cleveland, in need of scoring outside of LeBron James. But, unfortunately for the Cavs, they need another marquee player, and at 25, Brown was the best they were going to do.

26. L.A. Lakers - Jordan Farmar (PG)
Not as good as Williams, Farmar is still a very good point guard. He sees the floor well, is fairly quick, and most importantly, understands the role of the true PG. This should bode very well in the Zen Master's triangle offense and Kobe. What may end up hurting Farmar is whether or not he can hit the open looks he gets from 3 in the Lakers' offense.

27. Phoenix - Traded Rights to Sergio Rodriguez to Portland.
Not much to say here, I've never really seen S-Rod, Spanish Chocolate.

28. Dallas - Maurice Ager (G)
Haven't seen enough. But, how much do they really need? I doubt its coming from pick 28 in a week draft.

29. New York - Mardy Collins (G)
From Temple and without outstanding stats, I wonder how good he really is. He didn't even look quick in his highlight reel. At least, for Knicks fans, he's a recognizable name.

30. Portland - Joel Freeland (PF)
One word: England. I bet he never plays a game in the NBA.

So, there you have it. The final word has been given on this year's NBA Draft. Portland, NJ, and NOK come out as the biggest winnners, NY and Seattle the biggest losers. In a draft basically devoid of any really evident superstar players, I think that many of this year's selections will be able to help teams in a big way right away.

He's Got Great Stuff

Does he? Does he really? How great could Seth McClung's stuff possibly be? Let's go no further than the man himself. Seth?

"You look at my stuff, it's good," McClung said. "I know it's good. I just have to learn how to harness it."

Ah, ok. There it is. A player with an era near 7 that was just optioned down to the minor leagues finds his stuff to be top flight, so what else would it be.

Let's see, for a varying opinion, what the Baltimore Orioles think of his stuff. We asked the question to string bean second basemen Brandon Fahey. He had this to say:

"Wait, is who's stuff good? Scott McClean? I don't know about him, you might want to ask someone else, I've only been up for a little while," Fahey quizzically answered. We reminded him who we were talking about. "Oh, him. Oh, there's nothing to really talk about. He's got about as much stuff as Chinese immigrant."(Ed. note: Blogger notes here that A) Fahey has never actually faced McClung and B)we do not condone his possibly racist remarks. We are currently interviewing members of the Pacific Rim to find out if this statement is truly offensive.)

David Ortiz, the biggest papi of them all, should know. He's hit McClung only 3 times, but all 3 times those balls wound up being souveniers. He was unavailable for comment.

At any rate, the plan in Tampa is to send Seth down to Durham where he can work on becoming a closer. Now if this doesn't make sense to you, please, raise your hand. It's ok, if I'm not in the room, I trust you're doing it.

The closer's position is one of the few that really can't be prepared for unless its the real thing. Great relievers, great starters alike haven't been able to become great, or even worthile closers, because they couldn't handle the added pressure and added necessity of effectiveness.

So where, pray tell, does a man who is neither a great reliever, a great starter, or, truth be told, even a major league worthy player in an honest world, fit in as a closer?

Exactly.

Finally, Some Clarity over the Garden

Do you envy anyone involved in the entire New York Knickerbockers organization? I certainly don't, and I'm sitting in my pajamas that I've worn for 3 days straight.

Well, maybe I do. Actually, I'm positive that I do. Lawrence Brown is his name. The man who once hailed the Knicks head coaching position as "his dream job" has pulled an act worthy of grand larceny in some states.

After signing a deal worth over 50 million dollars for 5 years, he has now been not only given the freedom to walk away from the biggest mess in professional sports (on a technicality some may call it a firing, but who's counting) but he will also be compensated. Knicks owner James Dolan has said that Brown won't be paid the full 40 mil he's owed, but you can rest assured that the league will ensure that Mr. "Dream Job" Brown will get his.

And so, the Knicks made the obvious choice and hired Isiah Thomas to coach the Knicks. If you couldn't see this one coming a mile away, you need to have your prescription checked. Literally waiting in the wings of every Knicks loss (or, Knicks game, as the season went), Isiah wanted this job from the jump. Maybe, just maybe it was part of his master plan. I mean, how else would one be able to possibly explain the Knicks excuse for a roster?

That has to be it. Right? Please, for the sanity of Knicks fans here in New Jersey and New York, and across the great globe, tell me this was the case.

Tell me that this was the reason he traded the rights to a 1st round draft pick for Eddy Curry.

Tell me this was why he signed the entirely worthless and slovenly Jerome James for over 25 million.

Tell me this was the reason behind his decision to trade rebounding forward Kurt Thomas for poor shooter Quentin Richardson.

Tell me this explains his dealing Nazr Mohammed for undersized forward Malik Rose.

Tell me this begins to detail his decision to acquire disgruntled, undersized, and past-his-prime guard, Stevie "Once Was The" Franchise.

That has to be it. He had to have known what he was doing these past few seasons. While everyone from hear to the Mississippi was doubting his decisions, Isiah kept a calm front. While he went on Mike and the Mad Dog to be ripped in half for decisions that clearly made no sense, Isiah knew, to himself at least, what he was doing.

He and Dolan were in cahoots from the very beginning.

Step 1: Make moves so fans think you are trying. However, ensure that these moves are not only poor moves, but are evidently poor within a season's time.

Step 2: Hire a HOF coach, this should easily win over the fans. Now they can't question what we're doing.

Step 3: Fire HOF coach after everything goes as poorly as you planned.

Step 4: Isiah enter stage left.

(The last two steps haven't happened yet, but soon will, and will foil Isiah's diabolic plan)

Step 5: Realize that the shit that you put around Brown is still there, and for a while, around you.

Step 6: Win 25 games next season, lose draft pick to the Bulls again.

If only he could cut every single player on the roster, light the Garden on fire, collect insurance, and then start up the franchise, literally, from the ground up. If only...

Is This What Anyone Really Wanted?

This can't be what anyone really wanted? Can it be?

In this year's NBA Finals have come to a conclusion, at long last, after what perennially seems like a longer and longer series every year.

Still, despite the insane length for one series (2 weeks), this was, by all accounts, a great series. It had everything that recent Finals didn't have, didn't it?

Star power? Check. D-Wade, Shaq, Dirk, Jason Terry, even 'Toine. There was enough star power in the Heat starting lineup for the two of them. The Spurs and Pistons couldn't boast nearly that many players.

Intrigue? Check. Would Shaq get another ring outside of L.A.? How about Pat Riley, could he lead this team all the way? And let's not forget about rookie phenom head coach, the Little General Avery Johnson. Would he be able to put the final icing on what has been a dream first season as head coach of the Mavs? Could Dirk take the final step into superstardom and lead his team to the ultimate mountain top? And, as always, what stunts would Mark Cuban play?

Coaching matchups? Check. Avery Johnson has all but been annointed the next Red Auerbach. Pat Riley already is.

So, all of this and more was in this year's Finals. Excitement and energy from both sides. Two teams new to the concept of winning NBA championships (It would've been Dallas' first as well).

Ratings were up, there were some great overtime thrillers, and some great performances, namely from the next Michael Jordan, Dwyane Wade.

Yet, I'm left with a bitter taste in my mouth after having watched this series. What was clearly missing was a group of guys to collectively route for as loveable winners. The Spurs or Pistons may not have been the most exciting teams, but they played as teams and had guys that fans could get behind. At any rate, this isn't to say that the Heat or Mavs didn't play as a team, but they certainly were hard to route for.

Sure, we love Avery Johnson. How could you not. The frog-voiced, excitable but quitely driven coach was a guy that we could get behind. But, his counterpart, Pat Riley, is nothing other than a snake. He sprung the Knicks over a decade ago to head to the rival Heat. Now, he pulls a similarly dastardly deed in removing head coach Stan Van Gundy and filling the vacancy with, who else, but himself. SVG was doing a good enough job when he took a team that started 0-9 and had no Shaq (but instead the slighter Lamar Odom) to the playoffs. Apparantly, he was doing a good enough job when he took the Heat to within a game of the Finals with two injured superstars. Now, clearly, Riley recognized that the team was a championship caliber team and wanted to coach the team. Are we to believe that Van Gundy had to be with his family so badly that he left this great team in the middle of the season, but has yet to be heard or seen from since? Come on.

On the court with the Heat, where do you begin. Shaq and Wade are fine, I'm happy for them.

Alonzo Mourning, there's a class act. If this was just about his return to glory from kidney surgery, then it would be a great story. But this is a guy who demanded a great contract from the Nets, and then, in seemingly the same breathe, demanded to be traded when he realized that the Nets weren't going to be a winner. Just a note, the Nets still were paying him even though he couldn't play because of any of his injuries. So, they ultimately traded him to the Raptors. Though, if you were looking for 'Zo, you'd be hard pressed to find him in Toronto. He never showed. In fact, one day, when the Rap's were playing a game, I saw Mourning in the crowd at a Duke game. So, when he finally could flee again, he left for the Heat, and completed his long journey to play for a contender. I was suprised he didn't demand to be dealt to the Mavs when the Heat were down 2-0.

I'm sure that I could continue on for a while. Gary Payton, Antoine Walker, these aren't guys that most fans in the league find enjoyable. While they haven't committed any egregious mistakes, their generally percieved selfishness is enough to turn me off.

And, on the Mavs side, the players are mostly route-for-able. I guess my one criticism would be how often a guy like Dirk seems to blame others for what happens on the floor. Or, when he kicked a ball into the stands after game 5 and hit a fan. The fan asked only for an apology, and Dirk blew that off. So, the fan has decided to press charges.

The biggest dirtbag of them all? Mark Cuban. While I admire his competitive spirit, his desire to make his team better constantly and improve the experience for the fans, he clearly takes things too far. Just because you are a billionare that owns a basketball team and sits in the 2nd row, doesn't mean you can say whatever you want. I also realize that he donates a certain amount of money from his fines to a charity and that he knows that he will be fined anyway. But, he's got to cool it down. There's a limit to how far one can go before he becomes the story. At the end of this series, his complaining about officials became the story more than his team. Was the officiating questionable? Sure it was, at points. But, give it a rest Mark. Your team simply didn't play well enough. That's it, end of story.

Was this Finals a great series? Yes, I'd say so. Some great games, overtimes, and the true emergence of Dwyane Wade. But, after Shaq, Avery J., and Wade, I had trouble finding a routing interest in this series. I wonder if anyone other than Heat or Mavs fans felt the same way. I'd have to hope so.

A Tribute To Baby Sarge

This may not last. Then again, there were doubters that Christianity wouldn't last. But, now, two thousand years later, its alive and kicking.

OK, OK. Gary Matthews Jr. isn't Jesus Christ. Maybe a modern day Siddhartha Gautama. Either way, his recent exploits for his 7th team, the Texas Rangers, have been down right heavenly.

So, its about time, I feel, to honor this demi-god, not to be confused with the other Gary Matthews, speaker of the Montana House of Representatives. Its time to pay tribute to a man who glides about the spacious greens of centerfields across the country. Time to pay tribute to a man who swings gracefully with a bat packing the punch of telephone pole. Time to pay tribute to a man who has decided that is in the best interest of his team if he only made one out a game. Time to pay tribute to a gentleman. A squire, and a scholar.

His journey en route to become the ball player young utility men across the country strive to be and the scholar we know now as Gary Nathaniel Matthews Jr started at Mission College in Santa Clara, California. This may have only been a community college, but that's how Gary wanted it.

"I wanted to incorporate my community into my college experience. Sure, it would only be two years. But I knew I would make the most of those years. And, I figured, I had a strange suspicion that I would get chosen in the 13th round. I wasn't sure by who, but I had the round right as it turns out."

Wise words, from a wise man.

Keep in mind folks, this is only the beginning of the journey. The team that would wind up selecting Mr. Sarge Jr. was the San Diego Padres. Obviously, they were befuddled and surprised that a eight tool talent such as Matthews Jr. had mysteriously fell to the 13th round. Forget the obvious running, throwing, hitting for power and average, and fielding skills. Matthews also brought intelligence, pimp game, and a fine culinary palet to the table.

After what his critics would term as an unsuccesful tour with the Fathers (.222 BA, 0 HRs, 7 RBI's), he was traded straight up for Rodney Myers to the Cubbies. Yes, the same Myers with a career record of 7 and 5. What a deal for the Cubs, right?

Well, suffice it to say that it didn't work out with the Cubs, either. Over 2 seasons and 186 games, he hit a sizzling .207. So, he next went to the waiver wire. Once thought of as a career dead end for players, Matthews looked at his new ambiguous situation as a springboard for his career.

"Yeah, I was psyched to get away from the Cubs. Great fans, but the team just couldn't win. I mean, I'm only one man. What did they want from me? I mean, come on. I guess I could have, possibly have, hit over .210. But, let's be fair here..."

Once again, honest words from an honest man.

So, the Pittsburgh Pirates were the next team on the Wheel of Gary Matthews' Career. That didn't work. Then the Mets "purchased" him from the Pirates. 2 games later, that didn't work out either. Next, the Orioles. Desperate for a centerfielder to fill the void that Brady Anderson would left vacant, the tried out Matthews Jr. Apparently, they wanted to go in the direction of Chris Singleton. Different strokes for different strokes, as the saying goes.

Waivers came and went once again. And then again. Matthews ventured from Baltimore to San Diego to Atlanta.

Then came the best date, April 8, 2004. 2:19 (in the P.M.) is when Gary signed with the Texas Rangers. Obviously pleased with something deep inside Gary, they inked a deal worth over 1 million dollars per season. That total represents nearly his previous two contracts.

So finally, this caged bird has been given a chance to spread its wings. To flex its muscles and devour its prey. To open its eyes each day to the beautiful sun and say "Thank You".

Still, the sun gods aren't very pleased with Gary. One might tend to look at his stellar .344 average and assume he hits well no matter what the time of day, temperature, opponent, or giveaway at the stadium. However, during the day. Matthews hits a career resembling .246. At night, he turns into the masked avenger. Saving children from the dangers of drugs and drinking all with one swing of the bat. Regular, law abiding citizen by day, Dark Night and feared superhero by dusk, Gary hits over .370 when the lights go on.

So, next time you are contemplating a switch in faiths, or simply looking for someone to belive in, to put your faith in, to store your dreams and bottle up your suppressed fears in, look no further than one man. The San Francisco Treat, The Texas Two-Step, Mr. 400, Baby Sarge himself, Gary Matthews Jr.

We here at Blogger wish you continued success for whatever independent league team you choose to play for next season.

Banjo and Kazuo

Finally, the much hailed experiment with Japanese superstar Kazuo Matsui has come to an end in the Big Apple. They tried him at SS. They tried him at 2B. They tried him in 5 different spots in the lineup. And yes, one of those spots was 9th.

If there was ever to get rid of this clown, it was now. However, how anyone wanted him is absolutely beyond my comprehension. Even more unbelievable is how the Mets were able to obtain a major league level talent in Eli Marerro.

Kaz Matsui's stat-line for the season: 1 HR, 7 RBI's, 10 runs. Sounds like a bad week from Gary Matthews Jr.

Kaz Matsui's stat-line for his career as a Met: 11 HR, 7 RBI's, 106 runs. Mark Kotsay? Eh, more like an average Emil Brown season.

Oh, did I mention, he's a career .256 hitter?

Eitherway, these numbers aren't even indicative of how truly awful Kazuo Matsui has been in a Mets uniform. Hard to believe isn't it? Hard to believe that numbers this awful only begin to sum up his play in recent years.

Lets clear the air with the only good thing he's done. Matsui has hit a homer each of his first plate appearances in his first 3 years in the league. Excluding those 3 at bats, he's hit 8 others in 854 AB's. Thats an average of about 1 every 107 at bats. Pathetic, isn't it?

You might be wondering, why would I pick on his power numbers, he's just a middle infielder. Well, in Japan, he was a thumper. He once hit 36 homers and swiped 36 bags in one season. He's yet to come close to either of those numbers in 3 seasons.

Not to mention that he's always been hurt. He's missed over 130 games in these three, excruciating years.

Anyone who watched him last year, knew that last year was bad. This season was just unbearable. It seemed as if he barely ever made contact, let alone got hits. He was, as Bernie Williams often does, swinging with a newspaper. Probably Newsweek, as weak as his swing was. He got so bad they had to put in Jose Valentin, who, although is hitting well now, strikes out (on average in his career) one in four AB's and is, by all accounts, a butcher in the field.

And Kaz in the field? Jeez, sweet Mary Louise Parker. 34 errors in three seasons, hardly exemplorary.

Let's not forget, this guy was a superstar in Japan. The second coming of his brother from another mother, Hideki. Bobby Valentine staked his rep. on how good this guy was. I think we know how that turned out.

So now, Kaz brings his show to Colorado. Not a bad place to jumpstart your offense right? Yes. But, here's the problem. He'll be in COlorado Springs for the considerable future. The AAA Sky Sox have acquired Matsui and lost Jorge Piedra (for our English readers: George Stone) (and yes, this is the guy that got caught for 'roids). Once again, another solid step for Mr. Matsui. They say you are who your traded for. So, I guess that makes Kaz equal to Eli. But, maybe in Kaz's situation, it's, you are who you are optioned down to Triple AAA while making over 8 million dollars a season, for.

Try to Hold in Your Laughter

Who else but me finds this whole steroid thing in Major League Baseball absolutely hilarious?

I mean, come on already. Alex Sanchez? Ryan Franklin? Felix Heredia? Matt Lawton? And now, most recently, this bum--Jason Grimsley.

Have I missed out on the actual controversy here? What are these steroids even doing for these players? Honestly, we are talking about some of the most pathetic names in all of the game. Yet, while a whole host of trumped up Giants (both figuratively and literally) round the bases in the majors unscathed.

Jason Giambi, steroids? No way. You're probably thinking of his brother Jer emy. Sheffield, Public Enemy Number 1 Bonds, and a whole host of other likely offenders haven't been "caught" yet.

What exactly is the point here? What is the government or the MLB, for that matter, trying to prove? How stupid do they think the viewing public actually is. Am I supposed to be appeased by the suspension of a guy in Alex Sanchez who, not only weighs about 120 lbs, but was on his way out of the league as it was (due to a lack of talent or any real ability other than speed).

Sure, they got Rafael Palmeiro, and that was great, trust me. I loved seeing him get his, and now, sure enough, you don't hear anything from Mr. Palmiero. A decade ago, guys like Raffy or Sammy Sosa wouldn't have simply faded from the public eye when they still could play for major league teams. Granted, neither would be that good, but still, you're telling me that if the steroid clout didn't exist, both of those players wouldn't be on a MLB roster? I doubt it.

Here's the problem: It seems as if the whole thing is a ridiculous conspiracy. The league has decided to "crack down" on "steroid users". The quotes need to be taken away, permanently. First of all, Selig isn't cracking down on anyone. I dont even know what the current policy stands at, but until the first time you get caught results in a complete ban from the game, I won't be satisfied. I'm not sure how long it takes to get that shit out of your system, but you give the players that much time until you test everyone. That way, if they are on it now, they have a chance to get it off (one FINAL chance) and then after that, if they get caught again, they're out. Why should they get a chance when they think they are bigger than the game? They aren't, and there certainly will be other great sluggers after Jason Giambi or Gary Sheffield.

Also, I'd like to see the league go after a real slugger in his prime. Please, please catch someone that people actually care about. Raffy was nice, but he was on his way out as it was. Get someone like a Sheffield or a Giambi or anyone that still has a career beyond this season.

MLB--you want me to give credibility to your efforts to crack down on steroids? Try catching someone other than Rafael Betancourt.

Tone It Down Youngen? Please.

With all of the negativity surrounding Major League Baseball these days, the last thing it needs is a player that exudes a little youthful excitement, right? Wrong.

Lastings Milledge, uber-prospect for the Mets, has come up with share of problems. Assault cases and questions about his character dropped his top-3 draft status (lucky for the Mets, as it turns out) and also brought him to the minors with either a love-him or hate-him persona. I'm in the former group. Milledge may not be the most eloquent member of the league, but he brings some fun and excitement to the game.

Case in point: Milledge hit his first career MLB homerun against Armando "My ERA is Rising Faster than the Gas I'm Lighting the Field On Fire With" Benitez. It was the 10th inning, and he tied the game to send his Metropolitans out on the field to play some more. They would lose in 12, but still...Anyway, after he ran the bases without showing up any of the Giants or Benitez and after he refused to take a curtain call, Milledge ran out to right field to a standing ovation from the fans down the line. Instead of ignoring them like every other goddamned major leaguer, he went over to the group and high-fived them all.

Apparently, this qualifies as showing up the other team. Felipe Alou didn't appreciate it, or at least the person impersonating the body of the deceased Giants manager. Willie Randolph, the vaginal canal that he is, made his right fielder apologize. And Steve Kline also didn't appreciate it. Like anyone should give a shit what that baffoon says. Here's a guy who knows a thing or two about class. He only threw 2 tempertantrums while pitching for Baltimore last year. Oh, and lets not forget when he flipped off his manager, Tony LaRussa, while pitching for the Cardinals a couple of years back. So, thanks, but no thanks, for the advice Steve.

I remember when Derek Jeter first came into the league, he was a much more personable guy than he seems to be now. Not to knock the captain too hard, he still does more than most players I see, but he used to sign a ton of autographs before the games and talk with fans. Now, not so much. But again, the fact that he does it some times, speaks volumes about his character. A guy like Gary Sheffield wouldn't even consider signing an autograph for a fan or high-fiving someone applauding him unless there was a guaranteed mill coming his way.

At what point did the fact that we, the fans, are the only reason this whole game exists get lost in the shuffle. If people like us stopped watching, going to, enjoying professional baseball, there wouldn't be any Alex Rodriguez's making 25 million or any announcers or any beat writers or any of that nonsense. They are there, they exist solely because of us. Some how, some way, and at some point, this became lost in the corporotization of the game. Its gotten so bad that a player is criticized for acknowledging the fans.

When a player recognizes the fans, signs an autograph, throws a ball in the stands, high-fives, whatever, that wins us over.

I'll say this, Milledge has gotten me.

Head on Down to The Garden

Been to Penn Station recently? How about any where near the Garden? Smell that? No, it's not the Knicks. Those fucking losers, fortunately, finished a while ago.

What you're smelling is the stench of the WNBA. That sweet aroma is in the air, so it must be time to tip off again. And the author of this blog couldn't be happier.

Whose up for some mid-60's action? Some regular season leading 18.6 ppg? Twice a week action?

Ooooh weee. Try to hold in your excitement, please.

This year marks the 10th anniversary of the league, and how its not only stayed around so long but expanded is simply beyond me. I just can't figure it. First of all, the ticket prices are outstandingly high. Whether its the Indiana Fever or the New York Liberty, a good seat is still going to cost you about 65 bucks. In the Garden, that might not even cut it. They actually have the nerve, the balls, the "chutzpa" as we like to say, to charge $100 for the most expensive seat.

The quality of the league simply isn't very good. We're talking about a league in which the all-time leading scorer has averaged 21 ppg (Cynthia Cooper). We're talking about a league in which the act of dunking is commensurate with the resurrection of Christ. We're talking about a league in which the size and speed of the game being played could be mistaken for lower level high school basketball.

Now, in fairness, I recognize some of the positive aspects of the league.

1. Older men can now keep the majority of their "spending money" given to them by their wives to see a bunch of bouncing boobies.

That's about it. Maybe Keith Hernandez was onto something...(Ed. Note: These views do not reflect the views of Blogger or any of it subsidiaires. Rather, they reflect this author's sexism, biggotry, and ignorance)

No, en serio...The league is good for young girls wanting to get involved in basketball, and I'm sure that it draws well enough. But the fact remains, this isn't good product for the majority of the population. And, let's be real, even if it was. Even if I could find all the numbers and quotes in the world to backup a defense of the WNBA, people like myself would still shoot it down. I like men. And I like basketball. So, I watch the NBA. (Ed. Note: Again, the author's homosexual remarks neither denote his nor Blogger's sexual orientations)

The WNBA actually has a fantasy game starting up this season. I swear. Check it out at WNBA.com, its called the Triple Threat, and you get points for every point, rebound and assist the player you pick for each day. Here's the catch, the site exclaims, you can't pick a player more than once. What a new and wonderful twist!

If your wondering, the answer is yes. I have a team. "Hammond's The Man", for arguably my favorite player Becky Hammon. Oddly enough, she is married to ex-good reliever Chris Hammond. And Cole Hamels. No, no she's not. I do have a team, that part wasn't a joke. But, I'd say I keep it up for this week and that's about it. Keep your eye on Tamika Catchings and Lauren Jackson in games one and two this year.

Gotta run, tickets go on sale in about 28 hours. My car has broken down, so I am forced to skip gleefully to the city to get my Liberty tickets. Wish me luck.

The Columbus Crew

For over 200 million dollars, I think it's fair to expect more than a bunch of minor leaguers in your lineup. For over 200 million dollars, I think its fair to expect pressure on everyone, even the biggest of superstars.

Sure, the heat is on Randy Johnson and Alex Rodriguez. The Big Joke has performed as un-Unit like as is possible, reverting back to a form only the Montreal Expos have seen of the foul mouthed lefty. His fastball has no explosion, its lost about 5 mph. His slider doesn't bite, thus making it a sad excuse for a breaking pitch or just a fat fastball. And, now, he can't intimidate anyone anylonger. Here's case in point. Mark Kotsay, a weak hitting, albeit decent hitter overall, Centerfielder that bats from the left side of the plate. Kotsay, again, not known for his power, drilled a homerun off of RJ that is still traversing the hills of NY, I believe its made its way to White Plains.

A-Rod, he'll come around, we can leave him alone for right now.

The problem here is that there have been so many injuries that the team is practically decimated. Sheffield...Runs into the brick wall that is Shea Hillenbrand and now wont come back until he is ready for himself. Matsui...Dives trying to make a nice catch, instead catches a bad break, Literally. Then, it just gets ridiculous from here. As you know, Pavano and Dotel started the season injured, so we can count them out. After Chacon's 1.1 and 7 ER escapade a few days ago, he now has a bruise titled, and I kid you not, a hemotoma in his leg. Otherwise known as a bruise because he was getting the shit kicked out of him too hard. Then, Pavano, after his rehab is finally going well, pulls himself out of a Double A start in Trenton because of arm stiffness. Bubba Crosby pulls a hamstring running to first on a single. Tanyon Sturtze has a rotator cuff injury and is getting what should be season ending surgery. It's all good in the neighborhood.

Well, if that neighborhood is Columbus, Ohio, than yes. Well, actually no. While its nice that their players are now in the bigs, they now have no one to play.

You want Melky Cabrera in there. Fine. Kid hit over 380 in the minors. I'll give you him. But, you start putting guys like Kevin Reese, a man who hit under 260 in the minor leagues, mind you, and I have a problem with that. I have a problem with Scott Erikson. Maybe if this was 1997, I'd be ok with it. But, sadly, its not and a winning ballclub can't put him out there. Ever. The man has no stuff, no velocity, no break, and no control. 3.2 innings this year, only 2 hits, but 6 walks. He's has NOTHING! Get him out of my sight, he's a disgrace to the uniform and to the league. He was good for three or four separate years about 10 years ago. Happy trails.

On a day like today, you simply can't have 4 outs in the lineup (Bernie, Melky, Bubba/Reese, Stinnett). OK, so you say its just one day, Posada will come back tomorrow then. But what about when Giambi or Damon needs a rest. Then Williams stays out there, and maybe, just maybe we're lucky enough to get a Andy Phillips or Miguel Cairo sighting.

And no, that's not Superman on the horizon. It's superprospect Kevin Thompson. This OF from Columbus is waiting, matter-of-fact, he's chomping at the bit, to wiggle a spot into Torre's everyday lineup so that he and his mates from Columbus can inch closer to their diabolic plan to overtake the New York Club. Kudos to you and the rest of the Crew from Columbus.

"Alex Being Alex"

9-time All Star...2-time MVP...2-time Gold Glover...4-time HR champ...Career .307 hitter...436 HR's...Over 1200 RBI's...8 straight seasons of 35+ HR's, 105+ RBI's...226 SB's...

These are all of the incredible statistics that Alex Rodriguez has amassed over his 11 year career. Yes, 11 years. Keep in mind, he started at 19, and he's just now turning 30. Scary isn't it? That a guy this great has so many more years ahead of him, and has been so great already.

But, what might even be scarier is what this guy has to live with every season. We all know he's tensed up in the big spots for the Yankees, and especially in regular season games against the Mets and Red Sox. And when you play for The Boss, thats what you get paid for. However, he did play well against the Mets last year (no homers, but batted over .600 in 6 games). And, although he may not have been Superman, he did hit 6 homers against the Red Sox last year in 19 games. The prior year, he hit over .300 in 19 reg. season games against the Sox. Not to mention he and David Ortiz, considered by many to be the most clutch player ever created, had the same amount of game winning RBI's last year. Some food for thought.

In the post season, he's a career .305 hitter in 31 games with 6 homers and 15 RBI's. In fact, in his first post season series with the Yanks, he hit over .400 against the Twins. The problem--he's 10 for his last 46 since that point.

Here's the bigger issue...This great young superstart, for all of the regular season accolades he collects, seems to legitimately tense up when the spotlight shines. While it only may be showing in NY (he did produce well in Seattle in the post-season), he seems to simply not be able to get it done when it counts. His first game of the series at the Stadium is a perfect example. Known league-wide as a stellar fielder, he makes two errors that blow the game wide open. In game two, he hit a tie breaking bomb off of Schilling.

You see though, that's where the problem comes in. After being ridden like a bad horse during the day, he comes through and it still won't be enough. The pressure on this man is too much, and it's absolutely true. While I'm not condoning his performance (I feel like I'd need another set of hands to count his errors and failures in big spots), the man simply can't do enough right. Game winner one game, huh? Well, if he doesn't hit one tomorrow, then he just isn't clutch.

His contract is too big! We've all heard that one, as if the contract he was foolishly given by the Rangers should have any bearing on his performance. Hicks overpaid for him, plain and simple. And, don't call him greedy, please. If I told you I would give you 25 million or 16, which would you take? Honestly.

Lest we forget, he does play alongside the man who can do no wrong, Derek Jeter. The man of the hour, Mr. November, Captain Clutch. He's done it in every big spot, he's the captain of the most popular franchise maybe in the whole world, and he never seems to catch any heat. I'm not suggesting he should catch any heat, but just about anyone comes up short in comparison to Jeter when it comes to clutch-"ness".

Finally, there's the whole phony personality thing. Let me say this. He does come off as fake at times, but you know what, so do all of these ballplayers. It has become so P.C. that no one says whats really on their mind, and if they do, they're considered an asshole (see Kevin Millar). So, again, we will return to the question and answer section of the post. Would you rather have a guy who does try to say the right things, is a generally good guy, is one of the top 2 players in the game, and does come off as a bit phony (at times) or would you rather have a guy like Manny Ramirez. Maybe the answer is simple. But, people never seem to give Manny a hard time for being a straight up prick. Not nice. Not interested. Hides in walls, demands trades, doesn't hustle. But hey, its just "Manny Being Manny".

I wonder when it will be "Alex Being Alex"