Finally, Some Clarity over the Garden

Do you envy anyone involved in the entire New York Knickerbockers organization? I certainly don't, and I'm sitting in my pajamas that I've worn for 3 days straight.

Well, maybe I do. Actually, I'm positive that I do. Lawrence Brown is his name. The man who once hailed the Knicks head coaching position as "his dream job" has pulled an act worthy of grand larceny in some states.

After signing a deal worth over 50 million dollars for 5 years, he has now been not only given the freedom to walk away from the biggest mess in professional sports (on a technicality some may call it a firing, but who's counting) but he will also be compensated. Knicks owner James Dolan has said that Brown won't be paid the full 40 mil he's owed, but you can rest assured that the league will ensure that Mr. "Dream Job" Brown will get his.

And so, the Knicks made the obvious choice and hired Isiah Thomas to coach the Knicks. If you couldn't see this one coming a mile away, you need to have your prescription checked. Literally waiting in the wings of every Knicks loss (or, Knicks game, as the season went), Isiah wanted this job from the jump. Maybe, just maybe it was part of his master plan. I mean, how else would one be able to possibly explain the Knicks excuse for a roster?

That has to be it. Right? Please, for the sanity of Knicks fans here in New Jersey and New York, and across the great globe, tell me this was the case.

Tell me that this was the reason he traded the rights to a 1st round draft pick for Eddy Curry.

Tell me this was why he signed the entirely worthless and slovenly Jerome James for over 25 million.

Tell me this was the reason behind his decision to trade rebounding forward Kurt Thomas for poor shooter Quentin Richardson.

Tell me this explains his dealing Nazr Mohammed for undersized forward Malik Rose.

Tell me this begins to detail his decision to acquire disgruntled, undersized, and past-his-prime guard, Stevie "Once Was The" Franchise.

That has to be it. He had to have known what he was doing these past few seasons. While everyone from hear to the Mississippi was doubting his decisions, Isiah kept a calm front. While he went on Mike and the Mad Dog to be ripped in half for decisions that clearly made no sense, Isiah knew, to himself at least, what he was doing.

He and Dolan were in cahoots from the very beginning.

Step 1: Make moves so fans think you are trying. However, ensure that these moves are not only poor moves, but are evidently poor within a season's time.

Step 2: Hire a HOF coach, this should easily win over the fans. Now they can't question what we're doing.

Step 3: Fire HOF coach after everything goes as poorly as you planned.

Step 4: Isiah enter stage left.

(The last two steps haven't happened yet, but soon will, and will foil Isiah's diabolic plan)

Step 5: Realize that the shit that you put around Brown is still there, and for a while, around you.

Step 6: Win 25 games next season, lose draft pick to the Bulls again.

If only he could cut every single player on the roster, light the Garden on fire, collect insurance, and then start up the franchise, literally, from the ground up. If only...