Enough is Enough

I love sports...Trust me, I do. But, there's certain things that even a fan like myself can't comprehend. Athletes seem to have a free pass for basically everything they do. Some of these guys are straight up felons.

Let's examine some of the recent examples, perhaps the most recent...Delmon Young's recent tantrum over balls and strikes has got him an indefinite suspension. Well, what he did was clearly reasonable. After getting called out on a ball that was, admittedly, outside, he decided his best option would be to argue with the ump, get thrown out, and then (here's the kicker) throw his bat at the ump.

Now, not that bat throwing is a criminal offense, but I believe that if I got into an argument with my roomate and then threw a baseball bat at a pretty good speed right at him, I'd be in some serious trouble.

For the Rays, as strange as it sounds, its probably a pretty good thing that he did this. In fact, they might have told him to do something of this sort so that they could keep him down in Durham. Tampa is trying to hold on to his Minor League status as long as is humanly possible...Fuck, they've got a neverending supply of outfielders as it is anyways...

So, it begs the question, when is enough enough?

Here's my list of things that will have to happen for the professional sports to start realizing that these guys could face more serious penalties than a weak fine or a suspension from a game that they'll simply come back to anyway.

5. A former rebounding champ has to shoot (accidently) a Greek chauffer.

4. A former star running back has to distribute illegal drugs to children, preferrably under 15.

3. Another (keep in mind not the same guy here) former star running back has to murder his wife, and in plain sight with obvious evidence against him.

2. Sluggers need to lie under oath in a Congressional hearing.

1. A player needs to run into the stands and assault an innocent fan.

I'm sure that if any of these happen, the player will surely be kicked out and face legitimate problems with the law. Come on, these guys aren't in the Oval Office. They're not immune to prosecution during their time in their league. At least I'm not aware of that provision in their contract.

Before anything else happens, I'll predict what a few players are able to get away with.

In baseball, some middle infielder, upset that he's in a slump known as his career will take his frustations out on a fan, and beat him with his bat. Then again, the way he's been hitting, will be the defense..

In basketball, it's simple. A player sneaks a gun into the stadium and shoots a ref in the chest. No questions asked, and Violet Palmer is called into finish up. Dick Bavetta, as is his custom, fakes his own death after being shot in the chest, retaliates and shoots back at the player. The player doesn't die, and Bavetta goes to jail.

In football, a lineman goes off an a running back during a break in the action, taking out his knees, ripping every ligament, paralyzing him, and then shitting on his face...

Finally, in hockey, a player signs an autograph and is put on trial for acknowledging that the sport actually has fans.

New York, New York

What has happened in recent times to the so-called "home of champions"? Well, at least according to YES, easily one of the least biased networks on cable. But still, the Yankees, 200 million plus and .500. The Knicks, jeez. What did the massacre end at, 35 games below even? And now the Giants, with, what some might call the most sagacious signing of the year in LaVar Arrington...Where have the champions gone?

Well, the Yankees, they've simply faded into corporate oblivion. Buying every single interesting (Ed. note: not necessarily good, but fascinating) player available on the market. Well, at least they could control themselves long enough to not bid on A.J. Burnett. He's had a fun go of it this year. One start after a DL stint, and now, another stint. Even better news, he's heading down to James Andrews. And everyone knows, there's only two reasons people visit Alabama: they are interested in screwing that hot cousin of theirs, or they have serious arm problems. Hopefully, AJ falls into the latter category. But, alas, the Yankees have been mired in mediocrity this season. Unable to win more than 3 games in a row all season, and that streak came against, you guessed it, the Kansas City (not-so) Royals. While I'm sure they'll come around, finish first and lose prior to the World Series, these last few seasons should leave you with a sour taste in your mouth if your a Yankees fan. You go to a game and you have to buy one of the programs for about 25 bucks so that you can actually identify the people on the field. I've heard that they're thinking about instituting the "name on the back of the jersey" idea so that fans won't have a hard time adjusting each season. I think I read that somewhere....

The Knicks had a poor season. Let's leave it at that, because, in the words of Steven. A. Smith., Quite Frankly they were horrible. And, I could spend months on it, maybe even years...Basically, I could write Larry Brown decides he made a terrible decision, bows out ungracefully, and decides he new dream job is in Memphis, where he wins a championship in two years. Yes, Pau Gasol has shaved by this point and Shane Battier has finally been cut.

The Giants, after a good season (they won their division, but got crushed in the playoffs, but still) made one of the greatest signings I have seen in quite a while. LaVar Arrington, after long wait, is finally a member of the New York Football Giants of New Jersey. The deal is for 7 years, at an estimated total of 49 million. Which seems to make sense. I spoke with John Clayton and he had this to say regarding Arrington's production and his new contract "Anytime you can give a guy more millions of dollars (49) than tackles (47) he made last season, thats a deal you have to make". Thanks, Johnny! A couple of other notes...Arrington is not only more injury prone than a Cubs pitcher in March, but he's not even good anymore. Well, not good enough to play LB more than 3rd down last season for the Redskins. He hasn't been good for 3 years now. 7 sacks and no INT's since 2002. Granted, he was good then, but then again, so was Ryan Klesko. What? I thought so.

So, it figures that a New York team overpaid for a player that clearly isn't very good. But hey, that's New York. Pride, power, Pinstripes. Looking back, looking forward. Or, to borrow a phrase from our pals at TJ Max, Getting the Minimum for the Max.

Rolling Like a Renegade, Clearly in Need of Clinic Aid

Have You Seen This Man?

Hopefully not, at least not in this outfit.

Ben Affleck is one of those guys that simply makes you scratch your head. Why he's doing movies, why he's occasionally on news talk shows, why you might see him on the Budweiser Hot Seat on ESPN. These are all questions that I truly cannot provide accurate and complete answers to.

Here's the most puzzling thing about Ben Affleck. While his frequent appearances outside of Hollywood may or may not bother you, he shouldn't even be around because he hasn't made a good move in about 10 years. It was a small film called "Good Will Hunting".

To paraphrase the great Jay-Z (Shawn Carter) "You said you been in this ten...Four albums in ten years nigga? I can divide. That's one every let's say two, two of them shits was due. One was - NAHHH, the other was "Illmatic". That's a one hot album every ten year average. And that's so - LAAAAAAAME! Nigga switch up your flow. Your shit is garbage, but you try and kick knowledge?"

For those of you who don't follow that reference, simply read it again and make these substitutions: Ben Affleck for You, One for Four, Movies for Albums. It should make sense now, trust me.

Anyway, this guy really should just be eradicated. Let's do everyone the favor. Who even likes him anymore. I know no one's going to see his movies. I would doubt that his last two movies, "Jersey Girl" and "Surviving Christmas" were in theaters for more than a combined 75 minutes. And "Gigli"? Jesus Christ Almighty. If you've seen it before, or even know someone that's seen it, please send me your address and I'll personally give you your money back. There are some movies that are fun to watch, simply because they are bad. This movie way beyond that. I've actually seen parts of it. I can't say I've seen it all, I'm too afraid. We've all heard the stories. That one kid from Sacramento that contracted SARS from watching it, or the woman and her children from Toronto that lost their senses of smell. I'm not going to even gamble, and take risk.

What other reasons are there to hate him? Well, for starters, he's a Red Sox fan. Which isn't even the worst part. The worst part is that he thinks he's in the front office, and that anyone gives a damn about his opinions. "Trade Lou Merloni for a bag of balls", and all of his assorted anti-Yankees sucker shots, from the cameras of ESPN no less. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think there have been any popular Yankees fans on ESPN insulting the Red Sox. I have no problem with him rooting for his favorite team, but please, keep your fucking mouth shut. Make a good movie once every decade, and then, and only then will I give you the opportunity to speak in public about your team.

Politically, the guy's an asshole. And its not because he's a democrat. He could be a republican, he could be a whig, or a tory or a green party member or anything for that matter. What's annoying is how active he is, campaigning for various insundry candidates and what not. Get it together Affleck, no one cares.

So, the bottom line for Mr. Affleck should be this: Focus yourself to your movie career. We know, or at least we like to hope, that you have talent in this area. Please use it. Otherwise, sterilize yourself and get the fuck out of my face.

Fish Don't Fry In The Kitchen

Here's the latest news out of the Joey Harrington Camp: He's reportedly leaning towards agreeing to a 2 year deal worth approximately 18 million per to play for the Dolphins. (Ed. Note: The figures of the deal are still being worked out between the two sides)

Joey Harrington, the boy wonder from Detroit, by way of Portland, Oregon. Since this kid's entered the league, he's done nothing but re-write the record books. 62 INT's in 4 years (a career best 22 in 2003-4). That's just talent, that's all that is.

And, let's be fair to Mr. Harrington, it's not as if he has had any talen around him. Three first round recievers, a former pro-bowl tight end, and a first round running back. Come on, that's pathetic. Joey needs at least 5 or 6 top shelf recievers to legitimately have a shot at more TD's than INT's.

Nonetheless, we here at Putting it In Reverse wish Joey the best. He's clearly making a great career choice. He was benched at the end of the season last year, so clearly he's disgusted with Detroit and wants to start somewhere. Naturally, he's opting to head to a team with a starting QB already in place.

Here's to you, Joe.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

In this corner we have our heavy weight, all 6-feet, 2-inches of him. Weighing in at 195 pounds, the Dominican Cheater himself, Julian Tavarez.

In the other corner we have the challenger. Coming in at a whopping 5-10, 170, Joseph Gathright.

That's a fight I'd love to see...

Wait a minute, that's a fight I could've seen, just a week ago.

Let me ask this question: What could have possibly provoked this sort of scuffle? A brew-ha-ha between these two? More like a laughingstock. The picture at the top should send you into hysterics if these words alone don't do it for you.

Here's a couple of possible scenarios that could have spurred on the fight.

1. Gathright, unaware of how ERA's actually worked, called Tavarez a piece of shit for his 21.60 ERA in 1994 as a member of the Cleveland Indians for less than 2 innings that season.

2. Tavarez wanted to challenge Gathright to a game of Jenga, and Gathright simply refused.

3. Gathright, ever the staunch Democrat, insulted Tavarez's belief in right to life.

4. Tavarez, upset that he's still in the league, wanted to start a fight so that he could get his name in the paper one more time without having to cheat to do so.

5. Gathright figured that if he could just get suspended, he'd be eligible to come back just as Rocco Baldelli was getting injured again, and reclaim the starting 8 spot in the D-Ray's outfield.

Whatever the reason was, this is what a wise man once called, "high comedy". First of all, baseball players taking swings at each other is enough for me. Then, when you add two players such as this who couldn't be any more different, you have yourself a hit. Gathright, the small, slap hitting speedster. Tavarez, the middle reliever. That's about all you can say for him nowadays. He's a cheater. Wait, I've made that joke already. Ok, here's a new one, he's played for eight teams. That's enough Tavarez bashing.

Hopefully, the next time we get to talk about fights, we're talking Craig Wilson and Rafael Soriano. Until then, we'll have to settle for Gathright/Tavarez II on the 18th of April.

The Once and Future Kings of Atlanta

In yet another rant on one of the Association's worst teams, I'd like to take a timeout to talk about the Atlanta Hawks.

The Hawks aren't as bad as their record indicates. 22 and 49, not the worst in the league, not even the worst in their own conference (Imagine that!). But, the problem with the Hawks is not their competitiveness, which they demonstrate on a fairly regular basis. It is, however, their lack of any current NBA talent. Before you get your panties in a bunch, I'll advise that we are setting Joe Johnson aside and excusing Al Harrington because he essentially on another roster, even as we speak.

Zaza Pachulia, commonly known by friends and children as ZZP, is a prime example of one kind of player that makes up their roster. Granted, his numbers are solid enough, 11 and a half points, 8 rebounds per contest. Take a look at his minutes though...The man plays over 30 minutes a night without another player ever even considering the thought of rebounding on his team. Also, take a look at his blocks. Now, we all know that Pachules can hop. But, a half block per game? Take it easy Big Z, you're terrorizing the league at a rate that is unprecedented and unheralded.

Tyronne Lue. Is it even fair to insult this man? He knows he shouldn't be in the NBA. We know he shouldn't be in the league. Christ, I'm sure his coach and teammates know it too. Not to mention the fact the guy looks like a rat with braids. But, I digress.

The other type of player on this roster comes in the form of Josh Childress, Marvin Williams and Josh Smith. These guys are all solid players at this point in their young careers, but won't develop into great players for years, possibly even decades because of how two came into the league practically wearing diapers.

Childress, we'll give the oreo this, he can shoot. The shoots at a high level, which is impressive for the low field goal percentage that's so common in the NBA. But, after that he's not particularly useful. Rebouding, shot blocking, steals, assists? He's about average or less, in most cases, in each category.

Marvin Williams and Josh Smith are more fun to group together. Both are absolutely oozing with potential and have shown flashes of brilliance. Call me crazy, but I like Smith, Mr. Smoove to you, better than Williams. I know what's been said about M-Will, but I don't know if I buy it. I don't know if he has enough to make it as a superstar in the league, from a moves stand point, from an freak athlete stand point, from a outstanding ability in any particular area stand point. Not to say he's not any good, but from what I've seen of him in the pros and more so at UNC, he isn't really great at anything. He can get to the hoop and throw down, shoot fairly well. But, he can't shoot the three, and isn't a prolific rebounder. Neither is he extraordinarily quick or what have you. Smith on the other hand, does have some glaring deficits. But, in the second half of this season he has proved that he is worth more than a simple highlight every once in a while of him T-bagging some bum on the Hornets (maybe Brandon Bass, if you swing that way). 14 points, 8 rebounds, 4 dimes, and most importantly 3 blocks per game. This guy's never going to be a dominant scorer, but he seems to be developing into a good player, that can do a bunch of things.

I'll say this for the Hawks, they have a bunch of really good young pieces. I would love to see Marvin Williams develop into a better player, which I think will happen, but just not into the superstar everyone else sees.

Yet, their major problem is not the talent they have for the future, but the talent they have now. While Smith has made progress, its not necessarily translating into wins. They have a better roster than the forlorn Blazers, or Knicks. But, the concern is when that roster will translate into some W's. Maybe next season. Maybe the season after that. Maybe a decade after that.

But, where do you go if you're the Hawks Front Office (Ed. Note: There is ongoing league investigation to make sure that one actually exists). You have talent on your roster, but it won't be good for a while. You're going to be bad until they turn good, which means you'll still have high picks every year, making you younger and younger each year. Not to mention that often you can't attract Free Agents with more than 20 minutes of experience in the league. So, with this in mind, what do you do?

When you figure it out, you let me know.

The Rose that Grew From Concrete

Explain to me, if you please, the reason why a man like Vin Baker is still in the NBA...I'll give you some time to think...Time's up...

Here's a tougher one, how does a guy like Charlie Bell not only stay in the ranks, but put up near triple doubles whenever he gets to start?...I'll give you some time to think...Time's up...

Here's the reason, or at least my version of the reason which is all that really counts since, newsflash--you're reading my blog. The NBA is so watered down, it seems, that any player could play 35 minutes a night and put up solid numbers. Don't believe me? Take any player, put him on the Hawks for a year...Then, watch his numbers and contract go up, and then talk to me.

The examples seem to be overflowing in this area. Take, for instance, the entire Portland Trailblazers roster. Here's just a wealth of talented, injury-free, positive players dedicated to winning basketball games. You've got Darius Miles, never one to sit out games for extended periods of time for an injury or extend a pesonal situation. Not to mention the fact that young Darius always arrives on time, with his teammates, to every Trailblazers shootaround. Why is it that these guys think that they can just miss a shootaround? Its part of the damn job. To me, thats the same as them saying, you know what, I think I'm going to just sit out the third quarter, how does that sound? Knowing the way things run in Portland, I'm sure it'd go over fine. Let's not review this roster without going over the tons of undersized and overused guards. Sebastian Telfair, Jarret Jack, Juan Dixon, Steve Blake. Yes, you are reading correctly. Steve Blake and Juan Dixon. The two guys who played for Maryland together. The two guys no one thought would make a big impact in the NBA. Now, they start together on the worst team in the entire league (not record wise, that dubious distinction belongs to the Knickerbockers, but don't worry, only by a game). This is a Trailblazers team devoid of any real talent that anyone would want (Zach Randolph), full of foreigners sure to never reach their potential if anyone outside of John Nash knows what it is (Victor Khryapa, Sergei Monia, Ha Seung-Jin), chocked with attitude problems (Randolph, for a deucer, and now we'll add Miles), and rounded out by guys that shouldn't be in the league to begin with (Travis Outlaw, Brian Skinner--and yes, I know what he's done lately, but as we recently argued, David Robinson could put up similar numbers, Charles Smith). Now, hold on for one second. Let's be fair to the Blazers. This is a team that got beat by a combined total of nearly 100 points (97) in three games this year. This is a team that is scoring a league low, 88 points per game. This is team that is second to last in Rebounding per game, 3rd to last in assists per game, and last in steals per game. Finally, this is a team that flat out sucks. In every sense of the word. I wish I could go on and on about this team. I probably could, but I feel like what I've written already is probably more than should have been done. This Trailblazers team is simply inexcusable. The roster of players assembled in Oregon makes me want to cringe, rip my eyes out, and then throw them at Ruben Patterson...Wait, better make that Voshon Lenard...