K-Rod

No, not Frankie Rodriguez.

More like Alex Rodriguez. Forwards, Backwards...These days, the man known to many as E-Rod due to his many blunders at the hot corner, will take a strikeout anyway it'll come.

In his last 15 at bats, he's struck out 11 times. He hasn't struck out less than 20 times in any month this season. And, he's whiffed a grand total of 122 times this year. While no one will confuse Rodriguez for Pujols as far as a penchant for racking up K's, Alex is on pace to shatter his previous career high (139, set last season). The way he's going right now, it might take only one more series.

Suprisingly though, A-Rod was only 10th in the league in K's.

Yet, for any Yankee fan that's watched him play this season, it isn't just about the alarming number of strikeouts.

Whether its a prolonged stretch of errors (see the 5 game stretch in mid-July, during which he committed 5), a game winning homerun (off of Jorge Sosa), a recent K bonanza, numerous failed opportunities (season long avg. of .244 with a runner on 3rd and less than 2 outs), or even a player of the month award (yes, this did actually happen in May), Alex Rodriguez has covered the gamut this season.

But still, no one really can figure out whats wrong. He has been great this year, but only for brief periods. Mostly, though, its been eratic. Simple ground balls turn into heartattacks for fans watching YES. Baseloaded, 2 outs turns into the next inning, no runs, when A-Rod gets up.

Fans have completely lost confidence and control. Boo's have rained down on the man for months now. It's even gotten to the point that announcers have tried to candycoat everything he does. Nice, but still routine, back handed stop? Greatest play ever. Single in the 7th inning with one on and none out? Big rally starter.

Every time he takes a hard swing, "maybe he's out of it".

The truth is, no one really knows. If some one knew, it'd be fixed by now. Players of Rodriguez's talent level and track record don't simply lose the ability to play the game they've dominated for a decade over the course of a few months during the peak of their career. Especially not after one of their best, MVP seasons.

Maybe A-Rod might never be the clutch player New York Yankees fans hope and pray he will become. Maybe he simply isn't cut out to be that type of player, that Derek Jeter, rise-to-the-top-at-the-right-time player. But, he is still Alex Rodriguez. A man that, prior to this season, was widely considered the best player in the game. Now, many wouldnt consider him the best player on his side of the infield.

So, what is it going to take to change E and K-Rod back to A-Rod again? I have no idea. But let's hope he figures it out before we have the next Chuck Knoblauch on our hands.

Somebody tell Keith Olberman's mother to stay away from Yankee Stadium for a few weeks.

The Next Contestant on Catch a Beatdown

Announcer: Come on down....we're looking for the next contestant on Catch a Beatdown!!!
(Camera scans the crowd, filled with overweight grandmothers, retired uncles, all of whom are wearing gigantic Best Buy tags with their name scribbled on them. Amongst the smiling faces there is one mug that sticks out like a black guy at a KKK meeting. His name is John Gibbons. And this is his story)

Gibbons is a man of fair complexion, dark hair. One can find him, on most nights, in the Toronto Blue Jays dugout, managing the club in waterproof overshirt. Yet, that isn't the case every night.

"Gibby", as his players have been known to call him, grew up in Great Falls, Montana in the 60's and 70's. His father was a travelling underarm deodorant salesman, his mother a cook in the local milita. Times were hard for young J.M. Gibbons. He barely knew his father; to this day his fondest memory of his dad is a scent--Old Spice. His mother was always physically around, but it was well documented in Great Falls that she was in the opening stages of Alzheimers when John was 12 and that she had a penchant for sleeping around.

Some nights, baseball was John's only salvation. Even then, it wasn't enough. He tells a story of living at home, being raised mainly by his five brothers in the absences of his father and forgetful mother.

"My brothers were much, much older than I was. Naturally, they were much stronger and bigger than I was as well. Often, I'd get my ass beat simply by looking at one of them the wrong way. One time we were all home after dinner and my eldest brother Conrad realized that I had forgotten to reshingle the roof. The five of them pounced on me like I was a piece of steak. Punching, kicking, verbal abuse...I endured it all."

Rough, indeed.

Nevertheless, John continued to mature. While he still, to this day, has never been with a woman, he did wind up going to college. After flunking out of a local junior college, John decided to pursue his life long dream-major league baseball.

Drafted in 1980, Gibbons lasted a lustrious decade in the bigs. As a catcher for the Mets, John batted .220 with one homerun and 2 RBI's (not to mention 16 K's) in 50 career at-bats. Finally, in 1990, John hung up his cletes, and decided to wait for the call from the big boys in Cooperstown.

Although his phone is still waiting to ring on that front, he did recieve a phone call from J.P. Riccardi. Mirroring his playing career, John started out as a bullpen catcher for the Jays. Then, after a series of successful warmups, he moved up to 1st basecoach. Ever-persistent, John was magnificent in his new role. Taking players batting gear, having idle chatter with opposing first basemen, John excelled. So much so, Riccardi finally gave him the keys to the car in 2004, and then extended him for three more years in 2005. As far as Gibbons was concerned, it was a long time coming.

"You know, some in Toronto weren't happy with the decision to put me into the manager's seat. Strangely, there was a gigantic Carlos Tosca contingent just north of the border. At any rate, I knew what I was capable of. I was expecting to be moved to third base before becoming the head honcho, but whatever...I was ready to take this team to where it needs to go. We needed to get tougher around here, and that's what I'm about to do."

And so he did. What very few know about John Gibbons is that he is not, by nature, a violent man. While his dealings with players on his own team may dispute that fact, his closest friends know him as peaceful man that enjoys bike riding and Magic the Gathering more than anything else in the world.

However, there is something about that Toronto air that simply drives John Gibbons crazy. When that fragrant maple air enters his nostrils, he turns into Satan's spawn. Unaware that it is unprofessional to simply beat up your own players, John has bucked the trend. While managers like Joe Torre, Terry Francona and Tony LaRussa try to build working relationships with players, Gibbons is not only challenging players to fights, but also getting his ass kicked.

No one has been able to find the exact reasoning behind Gibbons' most recent implosions (Shea Hillenbrand and Ted Lilly). Could it be the air? How about the fact that the Jays have fallen 9.5 games out of first in the AL East? Or maybe, just maybe, could it be that John Gibbons is a psycho?

I'll opt for the latter.

Earlier in the year, news out of Toronto made it seem as if Shea Hillenbrand was the thug. Scribbling on a message board that the Jays were "a sinking ship". A month or so later it seems that Shea may have been on to something.

The team can't win a game unless Roy Halladay is on the rubber, and even then there's no guarantees. One of the other Jays pitchers, lefty hurler Ted Lilly, felt the wrath of Mr. Gibbons earlier this week.

After giving up 7 runs in 2.1 innings, John Gibbons came out to pull the plug. Even Ray Charles could have read Lilly's lips, he didn't want to come out of the game. The two argued for a bit, and finally Lilly relented, and left the mound, proceeding directly into the tunnel. Gibbons, instead of letting things cool off, decided the best course of action would be to follow his disgruntled player. Looking for trouble, Gibbons wound up with a bloody nose after the alleged fight. Alleged? Yeah right. Although no one admitted to a fight, we all know what happened. Unless of course, Gibbons went into the clubhouse and took the back of his head and smashed it into the wall. Doubt that.

Here's the problem, John Gibbons is a certified wackjob. Nutcase. Insane. Whatever word you want to use to describe the Jays skipper, it certainly isn't capable. Not only is Gibbons losing the loyalty of his players by acting like the clubhouse bully, but he's also losing games.

The message to J.P. Riccardi is clear: After your manager tries to fight more than one player, he's got to go. It can't be that both players have such a problem. Who's the common denominator? Exactly.

Contractually Speaking

How much better would professional sports be without the burden of multi-year, multi-million dollar contracts?

Think about it for a minute.

How many bad contracts are there in sports? How about on your favorite baseball team? Too many to count. And I'm not just talking about the Yankees, or the Knicks. The whole idea of these contracts is simply and quite obviously ludicrous on several levels.

1. This year's minimum salary in the NBA is just under 400 thousand, roughly the same as the president of the United States. That means that Mardy Collins and Dub-Yah make the same. Sounds fair.

2. Is Derek Jeter's salary of roughly 20 million a year astronomical? Yes. However, the problem is more than just one man. What I like to call the "comparatively" clause comes into effect all the time. For instance, if Edgar Renteria can make 9 million a year for the Braves, why can't Jeter make twice as much for the Yanks? He's twice the player, at least, so shouldn't his salary reflect this?

3. Potential. Constantly and seemingly endlessly, GM's find themselves chasing after the ever-elusive capacity for greatness. Contracts are doled out on the basis of a good series, gritty performance, or wingspan. Some examples that immediately come to mind: Jerome James (5 yrs, 30 million) (career avg. of 4.7 ppg and 3.3 rpg) (exploded in the playoffs two seasons ago--13 ppg, 7 rpg); A.J. Burnett (5 yr, 55 million) (career record of 49 and 50 coming into this season)

The list is truly never ending, and the NBA and the MLB seem to always come ahead of the NFL as far as awful contracts are concerned. This summer alone has produced some awful contracts: Ben Wallace (5 for 60), this coming from a guy who might not score 60 points a month. Nene (6 for 60), a man with only one name and equal number of post up moves. Recently Jared Jeffries signed with the Knicks for 5 years, 30 million. Again, slightly high when one considers that Jeffries has never averaged over 7 ppg or over 5.2 rpg in any of his 4 seasons. But, he is tall, and supposedly has a great wingspan and plays D. Seems worth 30 million. Last year, Marko Jaric proved he wasn't worth his 5 years, 35 million. Kenyon Martin proves every year that 71 million dollars for an oft-injured, over-hyped dunk-dependent power forward was about 65 million dollars too high.

In the majors, how about Kevin Millwood. He hasn't been that bad this year, unfortunately. But, 4 years 48 million is a ton for a guy who has consistently shown he can't be anything more than a good no. 2 starter. Too bad Texas is depending on him to be an ace.

So, what's the solution? Simple. Follow the NFL's lead. Contracts can, technically, be as long as a Maurice Clarett rap sheet (i.e. Mark Brunell's 7 year, 49 million contract, which, if he plays out, will see him at 42). But, as in the NFL, contracts should be able to simply cut at any time. Players will be compensated if the cut comes from an injury, but the player can't receive the majority of the salary. Say, for instance, your recently drafted in the top 3 PG from Duke got into a motorcycle accident and it was stated in his contract that he couldn't ride his crotch rocket, you'd be off the hook. Or, let's say the previous season's game 7 hero hurt his knee playing basketball, which was prohibited in his contract, you'd also be off the hook. Those are just hypotheticals, but one could imagine if a team had to actually pay a player in those situations...And, if a player was injured during the majority of his contract and came back to later pitch (see Carl Pavano who will most likely pitch again at some point for the Bronx Bombers but has missed a full year already with a littany of injuries), he wouldn't get the money he normally would accrue while on the DL.

Finally, every sport needs a salary cap. Just like there shouldn't be a New York Yankees at the tip top, there shouldn't be a Florida Marlins.

Don't even get me started on getting rid of team. This is just a start. We all know none of this will happen, but its fun to dream, right? So, when this winter rolls around, and some Chris Capuano type is getting paid well over 50 million dollars to come to the AL, think of what could have been.