Kansas City Dreaming

Straight off another 100 loss season, the Allard Baird-less Royals look to avoid the dubious distinction for a 5th time in 6 seasons. If you want their lineup, their starting rotation, look elsewhere.

Let's Be Honest:

This is the Royals we're talking about. The team that last year lost 100 games and saw its star pitcher nearly leave the game entirely following an emotional breakdown.

Now, 55 million dollars, one overweight pitcher and a poor GM later, are the Royals ready to compete? Not quite. First, the division is, in the words of many a sorority sister, "ridic". Maybe the best in baseball, the AL Central has some big guns. Yet, many in Royal Nation, if such a thing actually exists, believe this could be the year the team competes. In fact, new GM Dayton Moore has gone so far as to confirm that previous statement. Seems like a lot from a man inheriting a team that hasn't had a 30 HR season since 2000 (Jermaine Dye).

Yet, all this being said, this isn't that bad of a team. I'd say, these aren't your father's Royals, but, frankly, if they were, they'd be good. Take a look up and down this lineup, and you'll be pleasantly surprised. The rotation, not great, but same as the lineup, surprising. That's all from the soap box.

What Can We Expect?:

Less than 100 losses? I guess that's about all.

First Player To Have Another Zack Greinke-esque Breakdown:

Angel Berroa, after he realizes that the untimely Rookie of the Year curse isn't a curse, but rather an indicator of a lucky year for a man that couldn't cut it in Wichita.

What Your Most Likely To Hear Shouted At A Royals' Loss:

Bring Back Burgos! That is, of course, after the Royals management realizes that Octavio Dotel hasn't been good for years and isn't going to suddenly turn it on.

Bold Statement(s):

The Royals are a 70-75 win team.

John Buck will not be with the team by September. Well, he shouldn't be at least.

Luke Hudson will win 15 games. By August. 2008.

Spring In The Air?

Well, maybe not yet. But it sure is getting close to what I like to call baseball cap weather. The sort of weather where you can't really where shorts, but don't need to wear a parka.

Either way, in light of pitchers and catchers reporting just a week ago, a light NBA trading deadline, and other lackluster sporting events, we present the following, full Major League Baseball Preview.

Questions, Comments, and Concerns.

All appreciated.

Beam Me Up, Scottie

Assorted GM: So, you think you can make a comeback, huh? Well, let's look at some things. You're in great physical shape. You even claim to be at your playing weight of, what, 220 lbs? Not much body fat. Well, Mr. Pippen, you seem to be just the man we're looking for. It says here you've won six championships and are one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History. I must say, I don't know what it is a man of your skill, caliber, and know-how is doing on the market still, but we're going to give you a serious shot here. Before you go, just a few quick, paper-work questions.

Scottie: Sure, shoot.

GM: Ok, first. When was the last time you played competitive basketball?

Scottie: Honestly, seven years ago.

GM: Wait a minute. It says here, you finished playing in the NBA in 2004.

Scottie: Yeah, I know. But, I haven't really been competitive since 2000. I mean, if you consider missing around 20 games a season and seeing every statitisical average fall competitive, then I misspoke.

GM: Ok....Well, how old are you?

Scottie: Now, that's a funny question. Because, I...I, uh...I feel great.

GM: How old, Scottie?

Scottie: 39?

GM: Scottie?

Scottie: OK, OK, I turned 41 last September. Alright! I'm older than dirt. What do you want from me. I am playing with Ben Gordon and some gal from the Chicago WNBA team this weekend.

GM: Fair enough. Now that I think about it, we could use some experience, a little age, wisdom. We play Denver after the break, can you be ready?

Honestly, enough of this business. Who really thinks he can be effective? The first Mike of the radio program duplicated in his name on ESPN Radio said multiple times this morning that he could really help a team.

No one is doubting the skill set Mr. Pippen once had, nor what impact that would bring if he still had it. Yet, keep in mind, before you hail the point-forward as some team's savior, he's 41 and hasn't played in the NBA since 2004. That's 2 full seasons off for a man over 40. I don't care what weight he's at, that's asking a lot of man. To simply come back to NBA shape and form, and play big minutes for a team in playoff/championship contention. Why, that seems a bit much, no?

Some notes:

• Tell me I wasn't the only one who thought, upon seeing Tim Hardaway's face initially on ESPN a few days ago, that he was announcing he was a homosexual. As it turns out, TimBug took the classier path, cursing those goddamned gay people that he hates so much. Maybe he wants to make a comeback.
• Speaking of homosexuality, I've come into question myself recently. I just acquired John Mayer's newest album, Continuum. I must say, great stuff. What that says about me, I'm prepared to accept.
• Kerry Wood, adding to an already long list of ridiculous injuries, has hurt himself while falling out of a hot tub. Apparently, he slipped and hurt his chest. We here at Reverse can already hear Sweet Lou cursing the day he accepted this job. I can only imagine what Carl Pavano is scheming up to top this one.
• The Red Sox Japanese phenom, Daisuke Matsuzaka, arrived to Red Sox camp recently, though the camp starts on Sunday. Good job. Unfortunately, he brought with him about 200 reporters and press agents. Have fun with that throughout a season. Also, have fun with the fact that this mystery pitch (the gyroball) isn't really a part of his 6 pitch array.
• Raise your hand if you're already annoyed by the increased NASCAR coverage on ESPN. I can't see your hands, but I'll trust they're up.
• One thing is certain as we head into the NBA All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas: Tyrus Thomas is just a good guy. Recently, he announced his willingness to compete in the Slam Dunk Contest, simply because of the free money. First of all, what is 10,000 dollars to a guy making as much as he does. Second of all, does anyone talk to him, before he talks? If not, they should. And a tip: Putting out ridiculously gramatical apologies through your agents doesn't garner the sorries needed to put you back in favor, Ty.
• I, for one, am happy for Wade Phillips. The man preceeded in previous HC jobs by Dan Reeves twice, and succeeded by two generations of Mora's has landed again in Dallas. This, after leaving the Chargers, who find themselves in need of a head coach. I don't know if he was even considered for that job, but it clearly is the better of the two. TO, Jerry Jones. Need I say more. Though no one would accuse him of being a bad coach (for his career, he's over .500), this guy doesn't bring anything new to the table. Give some fresh blood chance. I'll say this for Phillips, he did make people think Rob Johnson was a good quarterback. Maybe he can fool people on Tony Romo.
• Here are your winners for All Star Weekend. Sophomores, NBDL West, Gerald Green, Mike Miller, Dwyane Wade, the Spurs, the NBA West, and Kobe. There you have it.