Enough is Enough

I love sports...Trust me, I do. But, there's certain things that even a fan like myself can't comprehend. Athletes seem to have a free pass for basically everything they do. Some of these guys are straight up felons.

Let's examine some of the recent examples, perhaps the most recent...Delmon Young's recent tantrum over balls and strikes has got him an indefinite suspension. Well, what he did was clearly reasonable. After getting called out on a ball that was, admittedly, outside, he decided his best option would be to argue with the ump, get thrown out, and then (here's the kicker) throw his bat at the ump.

Now, not that bat throwing is a criminal offense, but I believe that if I got into an argument with my roomate and then threw a baseball bat at a pretty good speed right at him, I'd be in some serious trouble.

For the Rays, as strange as it sounds, its probably a pretty good thing that he did this. In fact, they might have told him to do something of this sort so that they could keep him down in Durham. Tampa is trying to hold on to his Minor League status as long as is humanly possible...Fuck, they've got a neverending supply of outfielders as it is anyways...

So, it begs the question, when is enough enough?

Here's my list of things that will have to happen for the professional sports to start realizing that these guys could face more serious penalties than a weak fine or a suspension from a game that they'll simply come back to anyway.

5. A former rebounding champ has to shoot (accidently) a Greek chauffer.

4. A former star running back has to distribute illegal drugs to children, preferrably under 15.

3. Another (keep in mind not the same guy here) former star running back has to murder his wife, and in plain sight with obvious evidence against him.

2. Sluggers need to lie under oath in a Congressional hearing.

1. A player needs to run into the stands and assault an innocent fan.

I'm sure that if any of these happen, the player will surely be kicked out and face legitimate problems with the law. Come on, these guys aren't in the Oval Office. They're not immune to prosecution during their time in their league. At least I'm not aware of that provision in their contract.

Before anything else happens, I'll predict what a few players are able to get away with.

In baseball, some middle infielder, upset that he's in a slump known as his career will take his frustations out on a fan, and beat him with his bat. Then again, the way he's been hitting, will be the defense..

In basketball, it's simple. A player sneaks a gun into the stadium and shoots a ref in the chest. No questions asked, and Violet Palmer is called into finish up. Dick Bavetta, as is his custom, fakes his own death after being shot in the chest, retaliates and shoots back at the player. The player doesn't die, and Bavetta goes to jail.

In football, a lineman goes off an a running back during a break in the action, taking out his knees, ripping every ligament, paralyzing him, and then shitting on his face...

Finally, in hockey, a player signs an autograph and is put on trial for acknowledging that the sport actually has fans.