Does anyone give a shit?
Better question, is there a bigger collective jerk off than the ESPYs?
The answer to both of these questions is, unequivicably, n-o.
Sure, we're a few days (fine, a week) late.
So, in honor of the world renowned award show, we at Putting it in Reverse bring to you our very own ESPYs:
Hosting this year's show with overweight comedian Jimmy Kimmel is the much maligned Benny Zobrist. With that trademark "I'm a natural lefty but lost a bet so I'm swinging" righty stance and his famed trip over third base while trying to score a go ahead run earlier in the season, we couldn't think of anyone better to represent our award show.
The show would take place in Atlanta, on the field of a Braves game. During a Braves game. Even still, we doubt people will stay to see the conclusion of the game.
Some categories include:
Best Hernandez In Sport: Anderson Hernandez (also eligible for Best Anderson in Sport cat.), Orlando Hernandez, and Yoel Hernandez
Funniest Name: Contestants include Jo-Jo Reyes, Yovani Gallardo, Shelly Duncan, and Joba Chamberlain.
Only Sport Not Listed On Yahoo! Sports Top Bar: Contestant and Winner? WNBA
Worst Idea For A New Business Venture Started by Athletes: Mike Vick's Dog Pound and Kennel, Bryant Roadside Motels, Pac Man Jones Anything, The LaRussa/Hancock Driving School.
Better question, is there a bigger collective jerk off than the ESPYs?
The answer to both of these questions is, unequivicably, n-o.
Sure, we're a few days (fine, a week) late.
So, in honor of the world renowned award show, we at Putting it in Reverse bring to you our very own ESPYs:
Hosting this year's show with overweight comedian Jimmy Kimmel is the much maligned Benny Zobrist. With that trademark "I'm a natural lefty but lost a bet so I'm swinging" righty stance and his famed trip over third base while trying to score a go ahead run earlier in the season, we couldn't think of anyone better to represent our award show.
The show would take place in Atlanta, on the field of a Braves game. During a Braves game. Even still, we doubt people will stay to see the conclusion of the game.
Some categories include:
Best Hernandez In Sport: Anderson Hernandez (also eligible for Best Anderson in Sport cat.), Orlando Hernandez, and Yoel Hernandez
Funniest Name: Contestants include Jo-Jo Reyes, Yovani Gallardo, Shelly Duncan, and Joba Chamberlain.
Only Sport Not Listed On Yahoo! Sports Top Bar: Contestant and Winner? WNBA
Worst Idea For A New Business Venture Started by Athletes: Mike Vick's Dog Pound and Kennel, Bryant Roadside Motels, Pac Man Jones Anything, The LaRussa/Hancock Driving School.
Other categories include Athlete You Wouldn't Mind Seeing Barbaro'ed and Team That Most Deserves Contraction.
We've combed through the possible choices, not only for categories but for our hosts, and we feel as if the lineup shown above is one to pack a punch that surely the most C-List of athletic celebrity will be hard-pressed to miss out on. Don't be surprised to see Chucky Atkins handing out awards or Carlos Ruiz serving refreshments in the lobby. Nate Clements has already volunteered to check coats at the door, and Takashi Saito has committed to working security.
Should be an exciting night.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Or, I just might.
No comments:
Post a Comment